On the Devil's Backbone
by RJ Lewis the III
Summary: "She knew why Bellamy had done what he had, the undying loyalty to his sister that gave him the strength to shoot the Chancellor. She didn't even blame him for what he had done, [..] and Nora couldn't deny that given the chance, she wouldn't think too long before pulling the trigger herself." Not a 101 fic, Starts S01E08xDayTrip, AUish, B/OC
1. ONE

**AN:** Please enjoy! Comments and reviews are always appreciated.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

 **CHAPTER ONE**

My love took me down to the river to silence me  
And when he left I could not speak  
And what he said to me I can never say  
Because it's breaking my heart to this very day

There, there is a heart in here  
Where, where is the heart in here?

 _Little Green Cars_

* * *

Inhabitants of the Ark hurried through the station, heading to work or class, and Nora allowed the current of traffic to guide her towards the mess hall. The hall was abuzz and she found herself eavesdropping on conversations as they passed by. She'd learned at a young age that the best way to get intelligence on the Ark was by paying attention to those who weren't aware of their surroundings. Gossip was an easy find on her morning commute.

"Did you hear?"

"They've been calling down the parents all morning."

"What do you think the Council will decide?"

" _Nora Bishop, please report to the Command Center immediately. Repeat, Inspector Bishop to CC."_

The speakers crackled through the busy corridors of the Ark, reaching the young woman intent on acquiring her morning rations. She frowned at the request and shook her head before turning down the corridor to her left, walking past the mess hall with its morning rush. _Breakfast will have to wait_ , she thought to herself as her stomach groaned its protest. Pushing her way through the morning traffic, she wondered what the request pertained to.

Her review had been the week before, an event she was glad to have behind her. Both Councilor Kane and Major Bryne had testified on her behalf, and the council admitted that they little evidence to believe that she was in any way involved in the assassination plot against Chancellor Jaha. She'd been let go with a slap on the wrist and a warning to choose her associates more carefully in the future.

 _A respectable member of the Guard does not associate themselves with convicts._ Her father had always been transparent with his opinion of the Blake siblings and Nora had done her best to ensure he knew how little she cared.

 _Bellamy._

Her stomach dropped as his name floated through her mind, a terrible thought forming. It had been two weeks since he had committed high-treason and shot Chancellor Jaha. Two weeks since the dropship was launched for the Earth's surface, taking with it the stowaway and attempted assassin, Bellamy Blake. Two weeks the inhabitants of the Ark had waited for communication from the 100. The last of humanity had been waiting for hope to return home.

Thus far, there was no official word. The council claimed that they were keeping track of the sacrificed 100, but the public didn't know what to believe anymore. Everyone had been shocked to learn what the council had done – parents were outraged that their children had been sacrificed, teachers mourned students, friends prayed for their friends. Some quietly cheered when Jaha was shot – others openly cursed his miraculous recovery. They didn't even have the chance to say goodbye. Nora had been given the chance to say goodbye but it didn't leave her with much comfort, only more questions and doubts.

Turning down another identical corridor of the Ark, she felt someone fall in to step beside her and she fumbled a chaste solute. He waved her one in return and slowed his pace to better match her shorter strides.

"Commander," she said, quickening her pace to match his determined one. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Shumway spared her only a slight glance and guided them through the bustling morning crowd. He nodded to a few citizens as they passed by but largely ignored their surroundings, looking distracted. "I'm here to escort you to Command. Did you not hear the call?"

She frowned and followed him down another corridor, this one wider than the previous and which ended in the large circular door that opened into Command. "I didn't realize that I needed an escort anymore, sir," Nora tried not to sound insubordinate while voicing her confusion. Her frown deepened with another thought, "Did my dad send you?"

A loud snort was her response and she immediately felt embarrassed as her cheeks tinged pink. "Your father has more pressing matters to address than worrying about what irrational decision you'll make next, Bishop," he said seriously, coming to a halt a few paces away from the door.

Nora's father had condoned the decisions of the council but had supported her through her acquittal. After all, he had voted along with them. Cole Bishop had dreamed of returning to Earth since he was a young boy growing up on Argo station. Top of his class in Earth Skills and the farming division, he felt most at home with his hands in a pile of rich soil. He argued that given the chance, who was he to deny his people the right to return home. The good the many _had_ to outweigh the good of the few, otherwise what was the point? He believed that what they were going was right.

It had to be right, otherwise they had culled three hundred Ark citizens in poor judgment.

"A very fair point, sir," Nora conceded as she continued towards the door, stopping curiously when he put out a hand. Standing at attention, she waited for him to speak. He waited until a group of Mecha workers passed by and the corridor was relatively empty before moving closer to her, pushing her so that they were hidden from view by the intersections archway.

"What do you know about Blake shooting the Chancellor?" he asked in a rush, glancing over her shoulder at another wave of people coming down the corridor.

Her curiousness grew quickly in confusion as she fumbled for a moment. "I don't understand, sir. You were at my review, you heard my testimony. I didn't know that Bellamy was going to shoot Jaha," she said slowly with a frown. He moved a step closer as she continued, "I would have stopped him if I had known, both as a member of the Guard and as citizen of the Ark. You heard everything that I had to say and the council agreed. With all due respect sir, what is this about?"

Something passed over Shumway's face that set her on edge. He looked like one the wild animals on the nature shows they had to watch in Earth Skills. The animals that had been kept in captivity for too long before being released back in the wild. He looked lost, desperate, willing to do anything. As he took yet another step forward, Nora realized how close he was and tried to take a step back, only to be caught by the wrist in a vice-like grip. _Willing to do anything._

"Sir?"

"What did he tell you?" He whispered aggressively as a group of pre-schoolers and their teacher passed down the corridor. Miss Annie looked at the two guards in concern but said nothing as she led the children quietly by. Shumway pushed Nora around the corner from Command, leaning his body so that he towered over Nora and blocked her view of the corridor. She wished that her quest for breakfast hadn't taken such a detour. "Don't play games with me, Bishop. I'll ruin you before you have a chance to run to your sweet dear old dad," he threatened, tone serious enough that Nora didn't want to call his bluff.

"Commander, please, sir, I swear," Nora was desperate and she kept her eyes on her commanding officer, hoping that he could seeing the honesty on her face. She wasn't sure if Shumway meant her bodily harm or if his threat referred to some sort of political slander, but both were things she hoped to avoid. She continued in a steady, controlled voice, keeping herself calm. "Bellamy didn't tell me anything. He said didn't even say goodbye, for Christ's sake! I didn't even know that he was on the dropship until _you_ told me!"

Shumway's forearm went to her neck, forcing her onto the tips of her toes and pressing the back of her head into the corridor wall. A pulse of fear went through her. Her interactions with Shumway were sparse and few between as he was a high ranking officer and she wasn't sure if this was normal behavior for him. Maybe he had a volatile temper and she didn't have the rapport with him to know his boundaries. "I didn't say that, you little bitch," his breath warm on her face, his spittle falling on her face.

On second thought, probably not his usual behavior.

* * *

 **BEFORE**

She stood with her back to the deck's wall, making sure to keep as many citizens in her view while stealing glimpses of the view above her. Somewhere, on that radioactively soaked surface, one of her favorite people was fighting for her life. What she was fighting, whether it be from horrible ground conditions, lack of breathable air and sufficient supplies, or if some horrific man-eating species had evolved as a result of the fallout, she had no idea. All that she knew was that Octavia only had to survive long enough for her to find a way to get to her.

Rumors were starting to float around the Ark of something called Exodus. She hadn't heard much, but what she did know was that it was somehow related to the last of the human race returning home. Whatever it really involved to become a plausible option for the Council, Nora knew that she would be on the dropship down. It had been eleven days since the 100 had been excised and Bellamy Blake had become a ghost, seemingly disappearing into thin air and escaping from a space station with no accessible escape pods.

After she completed her first shift post-reinstatement, she had wasted no time in checking all the crevices of the Ark, searching for the wanted attempted-murderer. She'd enlisted the help of others, searching all the decks and stations for him but after three days she'd given up hope. She wondered if the Guard had already found and floated him, keeping the details hidden from the public for some sort of gain. She hoped that in a few months they wouldn't come across his body, hidden amongst the grain barrels in Agro.

Her thoughts were interrupted as a throat cleared to her right and she turned to see Commander Shumway standing behind her, an expectant look on his stern face. She threw up a salute and stood at attention, cursing herself for being caught while compromised, staring at the sky. And by the Commander, no less. What an Inspector she was turning out to be. He waved her to ease and she nodded in thanks.

He came to stand beside her and surprised her by also turning his eyes upwards to the view. "You must be worried for them," he said, eyes not leaving the view of the Eastern United States and Western Europe, the bright blue Atlantic Ocean cutting the view in half. "I know that you have friends down there, Inspector."

Octavia's face flashed in her mind as Nora nodded, also joining him in returning her eyes to Earth. She tried to keep the emotion out of her voice as she spoke. "Octavia is one of the strongest people I've ever met, sir. She takes a punch and gets right back up. If anyone can make it down there, she can," she said confidently, a proud smile on her face as she thought fondly of her friend.

"I doubt that brother of hers would let anything happen to her," Shumway muttered, shaking his head as he focused his attention back to the people milling around the deck. He cleared his throat and turned to her, continuing, "Wouldn't you agree?"

Nora frowned but nodded her head in agreement. Of course Octavia would be better off with Bellamy there to look out for her. She didn't doubt for a second that if he had been given the chance to get himself arrested and thrown into the Skybox in order to follow her down to the surface, he would have. She looked at the Commander, a question forming in the back of her mind that she'd never thought to ask but she was cut short as Shumway walked away, eyes set on two teenagers that looked to be conspiring in a dark corner of the deck and he paid her no more attention.

With a halfhearted salute to his back, she slowly turned once more to look at the Earth as she was filled with dread as she realized that not one, but two, people she loved were somewhere on the surface fighting to survive.

* * *

 **AFTER**

"If you open your mouth to anyone, I swear to G-"

The pressure on Nora's neck was suddenly lifted as Shumway was pulled away roughly. He turned with a look that could kill, only for all the color in his face to drain as Sgt. Miller looked at him in obvious shock and a hint of distaste. He looked to Nora, gesturing to her to come towards him protectively. Shumway fumbled as Nora moved away from him, looking at him with her own mixture of horror and disbelief.

"Is everything under control here, Commander?" the sergeant asked, motioning Nora back towards the busier corridor. He looked at her for only a moment before turning back to Shumway. "You're wanted in CC," he informed her. His eyes never left his commander's. "You wouldn't want to be late."

Part of her wanted to protest, to demand from Shumway answers to questions she hadn't realized she'd had, and she want to wait and see if Miller punished him for his rough treatment of her. She wanted to protest but her instincts to leave the situation forced her feet to move without her consent. Nodding once before turning away, Nora resumed her walk to Command with a quickened pace.

" _What the hell was that about?"_ she thought to herself, looking over her shoulder to see Miller leaving a disgruntled Shumway alone in the corridor. His eyes locked with hers and a shiver ran down her back at the hatred that was being channeled her way from the Commander. Bowing her head quickly and turning back to her destination, she held up her ID card to be scanned and pushed open the door of CC.

Whatever had just happened with Shumway would have to be understood later. She buried the uneasy feeling in her stomach, surprised by the charged energy of the room as she realized how many people were on deck. Techs were running around the room, yelling stats, pointing at the large monitors, each driven with a purpose. She spotted Dr. Griffin, Sinclair, and a few other higher-ranking officers scattered across the deck. Her eyes scanned the screens that took up the large monitor at the front of the room, heart racing as she realized they were the faces of the 100.

 _Thank god. They're still alive._

The feeling of happiness slowly left her as she realized that every face was surrounded by a gray border and each life sign was inactive. She felt her chest tightening as she walked closer, not wanting to believe what she was seeing. The empty faces of one hundred dead kids stared back at her. All heartbeat monitors were flat across the entire board. Her eyes scanned the faces, looking for those that she knew had been sent to the ground.

 **Jaha, Wells – deceased**

" _What made you want to join the Guard?" Wells asked, handing over the books that she was requesting from the Archives. He rang in her ID card and catalogued her rental of the titles._ A Brave New World. 1984. Fahrenheit 451. _He remembered their names from his Classic Literature but little else about her choice in reading._

 _Nora took care to gently pack the novels into her satchel and thought about the question. With a casual shrug she slung the satchel over her shoulder and looked at him honestly, "The Ark is my home, and I want to be able to protect it and help it flourish, even if that means protecting it from itself."_

 _Looking only half satisfied with her ambiguous answer, Wells nodded his head and shuffled a pile of books on the counter from side to side. He opened his mouth to say more but stopped himself, only to start again in a rushed manner, "But your dad is doing the same thing, right? Isn't that what both of our dads do, the whole point of the Council? Why go into the Guard when you could be involved in the real decisions that matter on the Ark?"_

 _He huffed and forced himself to the stop shuffling the pile of books as Nora looked on in amusement. "All the Guard does is make you into a uniform with a gun. You could make real change happen if you'd joined one of the Guilds."_

 _Her abrupt snort of laughter stopped Wells from continuing and he looked at her in confusion. She waved a hand at him and composed herself. "Do you really think that our either of our fathers have made 'real' change," she asked, letting another smile slip as she held up air quotations. "All the council does is uphold the laws that were written when the Ark was built. They don't make decisions, the consult a rulebook. They haven't_ changed _anything," she said bitterly, the amusement leaving her face as she continued. "At least in the Guard I've learned skills to protect myself and the people that I care for. Can you say the same?"_

 **Griffin, Clarke – deceased**

" _Do you have to keep using your face as a door?"_

 _The needle stung as it pierced through the broken skin of her eyebrow. With a wince, Nora cursed under her breath and let out a fake laugh, shooting the blonde a glare as she continued stitching her face back together. "It's not like I did this on purpose, Clarke," she bit out as the string tugged her skin uncomfortably. "Training today wasn't exactly what I would call 'fun'," she said sourly, happy to hear the click of the scissors cutting the string, and sat back as Clarke set down her tools._

 _The younger girl shot her a sympathetic look as Nora caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, wincing as she gingerly poked at the stitched. Swatting away her hand, Clarke shot her a warning look, "You'll just force them out if you keep messing with them," she scolded, reaching into the medicine cabinet to grab a three day dose of antibiotics. Tossing them to Nora, she looked at her thoughtfully and after a few moments of silence the other girl grew uncomfortable under her gaze._

" _What's on your mind, doc?" Nora tried lightly, shifting in her seat as she felt scrutinized for an unknown reason._

 _With a shrug the look left Clarke's face and was replaced with a smile. "I was just thinking that I see you a lot more frequently than the other cadets but that's probably just because you're such a rash decision maker," she laughed and gave her a friendly smile. "You should learn to be more careful, Nora."_

 _Over the years Nora had been a recurrent visitor of the Med Bay. What started as cuts and scrapes as a child evolved into multiple broken bones and at the worst a short coma following a fall down a maintenance shaft – though Clarke had to agree the fault there lay with the person who had failed to properly rope off the shaft in question. Only a few weeks after her recovery, Nora was back in the Med Bay with bruised ribs and a broken nose from off-hours sparring with a fellow cadet._

 _Shaking her head at Nora's mutterings of disagreement at her comment, she helped the wounded cadet off the exam table and sent her on her way, calling down the hall to reprimand Nora's fidgeting of her stitches. The cadet sent her a rude hand gesture before mock saluting the blonde and disappearing around the corner. Shaking her head with a small laugh, Clarke greeted another patient and led them into Med Bay, she continued her shift. Her mother once called Nora Bishop a walking disaster and Clarke couldn't help but agree._

 **Blake, Octavia – deceased**

No. God, please no. Please not her, too. Her mug shot blurred and twisted in Nora's eyes as she tried to understand what she was seeing. Please, please no. A tear escaped from her eye and sped its way down her cheek, falling unnoticed to the floor with a silent splash.

 _Nora watched in silent anticipation for Octavia to open the gift in her lap. It was simply wrapped in old copies of Council minutes that her dad had insisted be printed before losing them in his office. Nora had found them two months before and realizing the value of the carbon paper, however recycled it had become over the decades, knew that they would live to serve yet another purpose. She'd used the minutes to wrap the small box containing Octavia's gift and had used charcoal to decorate it with whimsy, swooping patterns. A spare piece of copper wire, found in the junk drawer of their meager kitchen, was used to tie a bow._

 _Now, as she waited for the younger girl to open her gift, she wondered if the gift was silly. It was an old dress that she'd been given for her sixteenth birthday by her mother. She'd worn it only a few times before it was lost amongst the other clothes she had and was entirely forgotten when her wardrobe became more uniforms than casual dress. Knowing how difficult it was for Bellamy and his mother to find clothes for Octavia as she grew older, Nora felt that she would appreciate the dress more than the back of her closet would._

 _As Octavia opened her present with great concentration, making sure not to rip the paper or crumple the bow, Nora became more confident that she would love the gift. She watched gleefully as Octavia hesitated to open the box within but was overcome with curiosity and gasped when she pulled off the lid._

" _Oh my god, Nora!" She squealed, pulling the dress from its box to hold it up her body and fanned out the skirt, posing with a laugh. "How do I look?"_

 _Nora shrugged and tried to hide her smile as her friend danced around the small living quarter with the blue dress. "I dunno, O, why don't you try it on and find out? You'd better hurry," she encouraged the other girl as she stopped her dancing, clutching the fabric tightly with a happy sigh. "I've got guard duty tonight for the dance."_

 _She laughed out loud at the delighted look on Octavia's face as she raced into the bathroom to try on the dress. Resting her head against the edge of the bunk bed as she took a seat on the floor, Nora smiled and pulled the blanket of the bottom bunk. She let out a contented hum as the scent of the blanket's owner seemed to settle in around her. 'Where thou art, that is home.'_

The world stopped.

 _Bellamy._

Her chest felt like it was going to explode. How could she have forgotten? His face wasn't anywhere on the stats screen because he was never officially part of the 100. She was looking at a hundred dead kids, but what was one more? He was gone. Fucking dead. The tightness in her chest made it hard to breathe. A hand brushed her shoulder and she jumped, finally tearing her eyes from the empty stat screens.

Abby stared back at her, worry and confusion clear in her eyes. "Nora, sweetie, what's wrong?"

The floor came up to meet her and Nora swayed unsteadily on her feet, an unstoppable wave of nausea coming over her. She was going to be sick. This was why they had called her down, to inform the next of kin. The Blake's mother had been floated the year previous and her father would have known that she would want to know.

"They're dead," she whispered, tears starting to pool in the corners of her eyes. The floor swam as she forced herself to remain standing. Her chest felt like a giant hole had been punched through the middle. She wondered if everyone could see right through her now. "They're all dead. You lied."

* * *

 _This love's killing me but I want it to_  
 _So long you're gone, just like I always knew_  
 _But I'm still here waiting for you_


	2. TWO

**AN:** Here is chapter two, please enjoy and review!

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

 **CHAPTER TWO**

 _Can you feel the wind of Venus on your skin?  
Can you taste the crush of a sunset's dying blush?  
Stars will always hang in summer's bleeding fangs_

 _Can you feel the rings of Saturn on your finger?  
Can you taste the ghosts who she'd their creaking hosts?  
But seas forever boil, trees will turn to soil_

 _Sea of Teeth_

* * *

 **BEFORE**

"You're going to get yourself floated," Nora whispered fiercely as she followed behind a dark shadow as they moved down the vacated corridor, slowing to hide in a doorway as two guards walked past, enforcing curfew. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and smacked him on the shoulder, causing him to turn and glare at her. "Scratch that, you're going to get _me_ floated."

Bellamy only shot her a half smirk before edging back out into the corridor, checking if it was clear. Seeing the guards turn down another corridor two intersections down, he motioned her forward with a hand, holding a finger to his lips when she caught her boot on the corner of the wall and let out a curse.

"You're the one who's going to get us floated if you don't learn to be quiet," he whispered back as she shot him a withering glare.

Go-Sci was eerily quiet at 0100 hours and she knew that both of them would be held accountable for breaking the station-wide curfew. As kids it had been exhilarating to among the ship while everyone was asleep and during the later years of school it wasn't uncommon to meet a group of friends for some moonshine down on Telsa Station. But now that they were both cadets in the Academy, she knew that they would suffer harsher punishments than those under-age.

"What are we even doing up here, Bell?"

Grabbing her hand, he let her down another corridor and fished out his ID from his back pocket. Nora nervously checked the quiet corridor for another shift of guards to come through. The door to the Observation Deck chimed open, locked during the night from the general public. Her eyebrows shot up when his card granted them access and he only smirked before pushing her through the door. Letting it shut behind them, he pulled her by the hand towards a maintenance door.

"Try not to fall down this one," Bellamy joked, as he let a small 'oomph' as he was hit on the back of the head. Holding the door open for a still confused Nora, he motioned her into the small shaft. Climbing in after her, he pulled the hatch closed behind them, throwing them into darkness.

"What now, genius?"

An electric torch blinded her as Bellamy apologetically aimed it in front of them. She blinked away the light spots that filled her vision, slapping him lightly the shoulder. He pulled out a plasti-sheet with what looked to be a crude map of the maintenance shaft. Shifting around her so that he was in the lead, he motioned the light ahead of them. "I think it's this way," he said, crawling away on his hands and knees, light bouncing off the shaft's metal surface.

Fifteen minutes and many wrong turns, Bellamy finally let out a victorious cheer as he kicked out a vent and slipped out of the shaft. Turning with a hand out he helped Nora to exit the shaft and brushed her jacket off as she looked around them. Eyes to the view above them, she pushed his hands away and walked in awe to get closer to the glass, reaching out a hand to touch it.

The detoured journey through the maintenance shaft had emptied them out on a cat walk that was installed to access the giant windows that provided the Earth view to the Observation Deck. A quick check below her made her stomach jump as she saw the fifty foot drop the deck's floor. While the view was nothing different than the one she had seen from the floor, on the catwalk the Earth took up the entire view, she could trace the outlines of the land forms with her finger.

"Do you like it?"

The question was soft in her ear as Bellamy came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and lowered his dead to rest on her shoulder. Her body shivered in delight as his breath tickled her ear lightly. Leaning herself into his chest, she let out a happy sigh and nodded, bringing her hands to rest on his broad arms. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and hugged her closer as they watched the Earth spin above them.

"What do you think it's like down there?" she mused after a few moments.

He moved his head so that hers was tucked under his chin and shrugged his shoulders slightly. "We'll never see it, so what does it matter?" His voice was rough as he thought about what life would really be on the surface. Octavia would be able to live a normal life, his mother wouldn't have to live in free of her life for having more than one child, and he would have been able to provide for his family better than he ever had on the Ark. On the surface, he and Nora would have had a future beyond stolen kisses hidden behind a friendship.

She frowned and twisted in his arms so that he could see it plainly. "Why do you have to be such a killjoy, Bellamy Blake?" She flicked him on the nose with her finger before turning back to the view with a sigh.

He squeezed her tightly in retaliation and looped his fingers through the front of her belt loops and spun her around, pressing her up flush against the window behind her. She let out a small gasp as he closed the short distance between them and towered over her. Tucking a stray hair behind her ear, he looked at her curiously as her eyes searched his. "What do _you_ think it's like down there, Bishop?"

Her eyes were on his lips as he tilted his head closer to hers. Taking a small breath and putting an unsure hand on his chest, her eyes flickered up to meet his once more. "I think that it's hope," she said quietly, her hand reaching up to bury itself in his dark hair as his lips crashed into hers.

* * *

 **AFTER**

Abby looked confused and reached out a comforting arm to support the young woman. "What do you mean, they're all dead?" Her eyes followed Nora's and she gasped before shaking her head quickly. "Oh, no, sweetie, don't worry about that. Their bracelets went out last week," she explained, pulling Nora into a one armed embrace as she led her around the main control console. She smiled and gave her arm another reassuring squeeze before releasing her to key in a code and opened a door for her. Waving an arm into the room, she gestured for Nora to follow.

The Council Chambers was a room that Nora remembered playing in as a child, hiding beneath her father's chair as he attended meetings day after day. While it had been a few years since she'd been allowed inside, it smelled and looked the same as she remembered, with one addition. Set up on the middle of the conference table was a large monitor with a camera on top.

Abby motioned her over to the screen, a tired smile lighting up her aging face. "The 100 aren't dead, Nora," she said, looking proud to announce it. Nora walked over slowly, not daring to believe what the woman was saying. She had seen the readouts.

"I know what you think you saw," Abby continued, smiling while Nora frowned at her correct assumption, "And trust me, I know what it feels like to not want to have hope because you're afraid that it'll be wasted. But it's not, Nora. Not this time." She came over and gently guided the young woman into the chair in front of the monitor.

She sat dumbly as Abby put a microphone and headset on her and pushed her chair to face the screen. A wave of emotions crashed into her as the woman patted her once more on the shoulder and made to leave the room. "I think you have some catching up to do, sweetie," she said, eyes wetting as she watched the happy reunion between Nora Bishop and Octavia Blake. "You both deserve it."

* * *

Nora couldn't believe her eyes, couldn't let herself trust the video feed showing her a very alive Octavia Blake. A tear streamed down her face as the two young women fell over their words, both expressing the relief of seeing one another alive and well.

"I thought you were dead," Nora said quietly, her finger resting on the camera lens so that her finger touched Octavia's on the monitor.

The last time the two girls had spoken was the moments before Octavia was rushed away to the Skybox. Nora had managed to call in a favor with a fellow cadet and got his guard duty the night that Octavia was put into solitary. The chance to say goodbye had cost Nora two weeks in the brig for abusive use of power, but it had been worth it. She barely recognized the scared, sheltered girl that she had said goodbye to over a year ago. The screen portrayed a very different Octavia, a more confident Octavia. A young woman who was more than just a girl hidden beneath the floor.

Octavia's laughter rang over the headset, garbled between the static and interference. Her smile was wide as she shook her head, "It takes more than just a little fresh air to get rid of me, Nora," she laughed. "You should know me better than that!"

"Doesn't mean that I don't worry!" Nodding with a laugh of her own, Nora couldn't help but agree. "You Blakes, you'll be the death of me, I swear," she said with a fond but watery smile.

Octavia noticed the small drop in her smile and her face grew solemn as well. Her eyes met with someone outside of the camera's view and Nora felt her heart leap, only to be disappointed with frown from the youngest Blake.

"My dick of a brother is off trying to be our fearless leader," she explained, eyes once again meeting with the person out of view. With a wave of her hand, she seemed to dismiss them and focused back on Nora. "We're trying to get him to talk to Jaha," she continued. "But he's too scared to deal with his problems, so we'll see how that works out. Did he get you in trouble because of that stupid stunt?"

"He did it to protect you," Nora defended, though not surprised at the girl's anger. Octavia had always placed Bellamy on a pedestal, a place where he could do no wrong. He was her hero. He had only let her down once in her life and it had come at the cost of her freedom. By the sounds of it, she hadn't quite accomplished in the forgiving part of their relationship.

"Right, yeah, I know," Octavia said with a heavy sigh, "He tried to kill a guy all for his baby sister because he loves me. I've heard the story, Nora," she said, fingering sliding off the camera to join her other hand in lap. She twisted her hands before chewing on her thumb. "Why do you always defend him? I didn't ask him to do that. And I sure as hell didn't ask him to get you dragged into it."

It was Nora's turn to let out a laugh. "Your 'dick of a brother' didn't drag me into anything, O," a bitter look flashing across her face. "He didn't even tell me what he was planning. I didn't even know he was on the dropship until Shumway told me last week," Nora paused and looked away, almost embarrassed. "I thought he was just hiding out somewhere on the station."

When the news first broke that the Chancellor had been shot, Nora hadn't been surprised. She, along with all members of the Guard, had been warned one hour in advance that the dropship would be launching for Earth and taking with it one hundred prisoners. It would be their duty to keep the peace as the public was informed, and they had been right to warn them. Public backlash against the Council's decision had been immediate following the launch. Anyone with an Earth view had seen the dropship launch and everyone wanted to know who was aboard.

After two days the Council released an official statement, citing the occupants of the dropship as one hundred prisoners selected from the Skybox. Outrage was instantaneous as the news spread across the Ark. Children, people said in horror, they sent one hundred children to their deaths. Many of the 100 had been nearly due for their reviews at eighteen and almost all would have been pardoned of their crimes, save for the violent offenders. Parents, who in only a few short weeks or even days would have been reunited with their children, instead were forced to accept the likelihood that they would never see their son or daughter again.

It wasn't surprising that someone would place the blame on Jaha, as the Chancellor it was his word which was final. There had been an extra guard assigned, there for the express purpose of preventing any harm from coming to the Chancellor, but he had been missing from his post at the time of the shooting. Some believed that he had worked in tandem with the shooter, but when Nora learned that Bellamy had become #1 on the Ark's Most Wanted, she knew he had worked alone. If he hadn't included her in the scheme, it was because he wouldn't have wanted to risk someone else's life.

She knew why Bellamy had done what he had, the undying loyalty to his sister that gave him the strength to pull the trigger. She didn't even blame him for what he had done, not really. His bond with his sister was so unique and intimate that most of it didn't make sense to her. No one else knew what it was like to have a sibling. She didn't understand, but she could imagine, and Nora couldn't deny that if given the chance, given the opportunity to protect Octavia, she wouldn't think too long before pulling the trigger herself.

The information that her brother had worked alone seemed to only perturb Octavia further as she set off on another complaint about Bellamy Blake's insensitivities. She rambled on, mentioning something about a boy, and Nora started to laugh until she heard her explain that Bellamy had tortured someone, a Grounder, as Octavia called him. A deep frown set in her face as her head tilted, not sure if she had heard correctly.

"What do you mean, he 'tortured' someone?" She asked, hoping that there had been a delay in the feed and that Octavia had really said that Bellamy 'tickled' someone. The image wasn't something that she had any memory of witnessing, but it was a far better one than imaging his tall form standing over a bloody, beaten body.

"I mean he- he tortured someone..," Octavia repeated slowly, her voice coming over the relay with little interference. The brunette shook her head and looked off screen once more, lost in thought. She let out a deep breath and met Nora's eyes through the camera, "He's different down here. I don't even know if I know who he is anymore, Nora. He's not my Bell," she said, voice almost too soft against the static. "That's for sure."

"You don't mean that," Nora argued, not understanding what had happened between the siblings. Over the years she had witnessed one or more of their sibling feuds but this seemed different, more serious even than when Bellamy had brought her to the dance. "You guys used to fight all the time and nothing changed," she continued with a reassuring smile, not knowing if it was the support her friend was looking for. It seemed almost enough.

She pressed on, "You didn't see him after you were arrested," she reminded her forcefully, not voicing the other important even in Bellamy's life that Octavia had been absent from – the floating of their mother. She shook her head, trying to get the image of Bellamy that his sister was painting out of her head. He was better than that, she knew that he was, she'd seen him be better. "He _has_ changed," she finally conceded, not able to argue the point. "But he changed so that he could live in a world where you didn't exist anymore, O. He thought he'd never see you again."

Octavia was silent as she listened to her friend's words, knowing deep down that all were true and meant to give her comfort, but it only made the way that Bellamy was acting that much worse. She too knew the kind of person that he could be, the kindness that he could show, the loyalty that he valued to a fault, and the lengths that he would go to keep her safe and alive. Nora was right, but she needed _that_ Bellamy back, not the stranger that had taken control of her brother.

"You're both just trying to survive down there and honestly, that's all I care about. If you say that Bellamy tortured someone," Nora shivered at the thought, "Then I have to believe that he did that for a reason, that he was trying to protect you. You need to watch out for each other," she said seriously, eyes dropping as she realized how much distance was truly between them.

"You need to take care of each other, Octavia. I don't know what the Council is planning to do now that Earth is a viable option, but you can bet your ass that I'm going to be on the first shuttle down. When I get there, we can deal with whatever it is you say is wrong, but until then, he's all you've got," she said honestly. "Please, just talk to him."

She felt a small breath of relief leave her as Octavia started nodding and a small smile broke out on her face. "You're just worried I'll kill him before you two can have your little lover's reunion, aren't you?" Octavia teased her as the smile grew larger and soon overtook her features. She laughed once before nodding again. "I promise that I'll watch his dumb ass, but I can't promise you that he wouldn't still get himself killed. The guy's an idiot, let's be honest, Nora-"

Letting out a laugh of her own, something caught her eye and Nora tore herself away from the screen, both surprised and uneasy to see Commander Shumway standing in the doorway. He didn't seem to sense her gaze as he took a deep breath and stepped into the chamber, allowing the door to slide shut behind him. As he pressed the lock mechanism and scanned his keycard for an approval, Nora let out a tentative, "Sir?"

She let out a small gasp as his gun was suddenly out and with a sickening feeling, saw that it was pointed straight at her chest. The headset fell around her neck and her call with Octavia was all but forgotten. The tense interaction the hallway just moments before was fresh in her mind. Something was wrong. Her training rushed itself to the forefront of her mind, screaming instructions as her body moved from muscle memory, remembering the long hours spent on the training deck with Bellamy. Her body tensed to move, eyes flashing to the two exits that would lead her to safety.

Shumway pulled the trigger before she had time to get out of her seat.

* * *

 _Stars will always hand in summer's bleeding veils  
But seas forever boil, trees will turn to soil_


	3. THREE

**AN:** Shout out to my three lovely reviewers: Bee-back, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, and rideordie2! You guys made my day. I've written out about four chapters ahead in the story and see it ending up around twenty chapters. We'll see how that turns out.. Please read and review/alert, enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER THREE**

 _Dear fellow traveler, under the moon_ _  
_ _I saw you standing in the shadows and your eyes won't move_ _  
_ _You put your hand out, opened the door_ _  
_ _You said come with me boy, I want to show you something more_ _  
_

 _You spoke my language and touched my limbs_ _  
_ _It wasn't difficult to pull me from myself again_ _  
_

 _Sea Wolf_

* * *

 **BEFORE**

Desperation was the force that drove Bellamy Blake into the path of Nora Bishop. After putting off the task of finding the perfect gift for his sister's twelfth birthday, he had approached her in the Archives seeking advice from the only girl he saw. A twist of fate that he had chosen Nora, a girl who was more intelligent than he had anticipated.

"So, uh," he cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to the attention of the light haired girl seated in a comfortable seat in towards the back of the quiet Archives, an old book spread in her lap. Her head bopped slightly up and down as she ignored him, invested in her reading. He glanced around the Archives before speaking a little louder. "Hey, so, real quick question-"

He was cut short as the girl looked up from her book and loudly yelped in surprise at Bellamy's close proximity. An ear bud fell out as she jumped in her seat and a librarian down the aisle sent them both a pointed look before moving to help someone at the front desk. Giving her an apologetic look, he held out his hand to the girl, a touch embarrassed as he introduced himself. "I'm Bellamy Blake."

The girl nodded her head, giving him an odd look while choosing to ignore his hand. He frowned and lowered it, again feeling embarrassed. "I know who you are," she said with a shake of her head, causing a few strands of her hair to come free of the messy bun. She started to pack up her stuff as she glanced up at him and saw his confused expression. "Seriously? We've had at least one class together for like the last..," she stopped her packing to do the imaginary math with a finger and shrugged with a small smile. "For like the last forever," she finished lamely. "I'm Nora Bishop."

His cheeks tinged pink as he fumbled to find words to make up for his mistake, he remembered her now. They had in fact had a class together since first year. While he tended sit towards the back and kept to himself, she sat towards the front and took an active role in their classes. "I don't really talk to anyone," he explained quickly, stepping aside as she moved to walk towards the front. "I didn't mean to offend you."

She laughed again and pulled her school bag over both her shoulders, shrugging it on. He was starting to think that she laughed at anything. "You didn't offend me, Blake. But you probably came over with a purpose, so what's up?"

Nora looked at him patiently waiting as he stared at her, face blank. His question seemed stupid when faced with actually posing it to someone. What had he been thinking? Her eyes were focused on him, curiously waiting for whatever reason he had for coming up to her. Still feeling the slight burn of his cheeks, he figured he had little dignity left to lose. Trying to appear casual, he took a deep breath and out came, "So if I were a twelve year old girl, what would I want for my birthday?"

As soon as he said the words he wished he could reach out and grab them out of the air before they reached Nora. Too quickly he watched the expression of pure amusement burst onto her face as she laughed loudly, doing nothing to quiet herself as the librarian shushed her from the front desk. Her eyes sparkled as her face grew red from lack of air and Bellamy was growing impatient with her reaction. Feeling like a fool and more lost than when he started out on his gift-giving expedition, he shook his head as a dark expression clouded his face.

"Never mind," he muttered, pushing past her to for the front of the Archives. He was sure that Octavia would be less than impressed by the only gift he could think of, but it would be better than nothing. Feeling angry at the way that Nora had laughed at him, he headed for the door, determined not to let her make him feel any worse.

She leapt after him, putting a hand on his arm to keep him from leaving. "I'm sorry for laughing," she said honestly, awkwardly pulling back her hand as he stared at it, eyes still dark. "You have to admit that was a pretty funny opener though," she continued with a small laugh as he seemed to relax slightly. Giving him a thoughtful look she leaned against a nearby bookshelf. "I'm guessing you owe a twelve year old girl a birthday present?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Bellamy nodded and shifted uncomfortably on his feet, eyeing the door enviously. "Her birthday is in three days and all I've come up with is a pair of socks," he admitted in defeat. He should have just taken his mother's advice and gotten her a new set of coloring pencils.

"Well, I think we can do a little bit better than a pair of old socks," Nora said, already thinking of a number of things that a girl Octavia's age would enjoy more than over-darned socks.

With a nod of her head, she headed for the exit, Bellamy staring after her in confusion. He stood up straight and quickly followed after her when she looked back at him expectantly. As they left the Archives she sent a cheery smile to the librarian, who only waved them out with a tired wave of his hand. Stepping out into the busy corridor of Go-Sci, she headed to the right and Bellamy fell into step beside her, doing his best to avoid oncoming traffic.

"I can talk to my mom and see if there's been anything neat left at the Purser's office lately," she said while side stepping a muttering engineering tech that pushed himself between the two teens, and shot him an annoyed glance before continuing down a different corridor. "One man's trash could a little girl's treasure," she explained with a smile. Coming to a stop in front of a residential quarter, she motioned to the door as she pulled out her ID card.

"This is me," she said while scanning the card and opened the door to her family's quarters, stopping to look at him. "Do you want to come over the night after next and I promise that I'll have a present for you by then?"

Catching a look into her family's quarters he was surprised that they looked almost identical to his own, save for a small room off the main one that he guessed belonged to her parents. Her bunk, covered in numerous text books and library books, was hooked to one wall and shared the main room with their kitchen. Bellamy was almost disappointed that the same blank walls he stared at every night were the same as Nora's. With a councilman for a father and quarters on Alpha Station, he had expected something.. more.

"Bellamy?"

He realized that she had been waiting for a response, watching him, and hoped that she couldn't tell what he had been thinking. Nodding his head in agreement, he gave her what he hoped was a friendly smile. "That'd be great, you're doing me a huge favor," he confessed, eyes shifting as he felt uncomfortable under her gaze. "I guess I'll see you Thursday, then," he said before awkwardly turning and heading down the corridor towards Factory Station.

As he walked away, Nora watched him go, an unreadable expression on her face as she watched him leave. Waiting until he turned a corner and disappeared from view, she closed and locked the door to her quarters and threw herself onto her bed, pulling out her data pad. It was a cloned version of her father's, something that would get her into unthinkable trouble if he ever discovered what she had done. She quickly set to looking through the Ark's personnel records and searched for anyone born on the date 0110-2132.

* * *

 **AFTER**

Four hours dragged by and Octavia Blake was starting to lose any grasp on her patience. When she had gotten up that morning, back sore from another night sleeping on the ground, she could never predicted how the day would transpire. In fact, every day since she had first stepped on Earth had been more unbelievable than the last. She was just about done with the little green planet and if Bellamy didn't hurry back from his day with Clarke, she would be tempted not to burn the whole place to the ground.

First, it had been the giant snake in the river that had tried to take her leg as its afternoon snack. Then it had been the loss and successive finding of Jasper Jordan and with that came the discovery of the Grounders. Plural became singular and suddenly there was Lincoln, a man who had both saved her life and tried to take the life of a friend, all in the same day. Her sweet brother, the one who used to read stories to her in her room under the floor, had tortured an unarmed man and become someone that she could no longer recognize.

In an attempt to save both Lincoln and anything left of the brother she once knew, Octavia had set the Grounder free. She'd knowing subjected a friend to hallucinogens, waited for the nuts to take effect, and freed Lincoln from his prison. She had set him free within their camp, trusting him to not murder each of them for the suffering they had caused. Earth had given Octavia few reasons to be impressed.

And in the sickest twist of events, her best friend, someone who wasn't even on the same forsaken planet as her, had been shot in front of her via live video feed. Her scream had attracted a number of campers, many of whom were still under the effects of the nuts, had found her desperately trying to get the attention of anyone on the monitor. The camera was still aimed where Nora's face had been only moments before and the angle didn't allow her to see much of what was going on. She screamed into the headset and banged on the monitor, hoping to draw someone's attention on the Ark.

Jasper had managed to calm her down long enough to understand that someone had been shot. After a confused medical tech explained over the video feed that mass hallucinations were incredibly rare and that he himself was indeed 'real', word quickly spread throughout camp that the victim was Nora Bishop, a councilman's daughter.

Few in camp knew her as she was a few years ahead of them in classes, but still the campers brought back any updates coming from the Ark as they continued to meet with their families. The Ark had moved the camera to a corner of the main deck of Command, allowing the Guard to protect their crime scene as they opened an official case.

Two hours ago, Miller had come up to her as she stood watch at the gate, waiting for Bellamy and Clarke to return. He had spoken with his dad, a Sergeant in the Guard, who informed him that Nora was entering emergency surgery to remove the bullet lodged in her chest. An hour later, a quiet girl named Harper came over and said that the surgery had complications but Dr. Griffin had managed to stabilize her vitals.

Jasper had been the one that delivered the most recent news, less hopeful than the previous – Nora suffered a seizure due a reaction to the anesthesia used and had slipped into a coma shortly after. While her vitals were still stable, the loss of blood combined with the stress of the seizure had left her weak and her recovery was not guaranteed. The coma was almost a blessing, as they were able to save the medical supplies that might have otherwise been needed, giving her doctors the ability to try and save her if her conditioned worsened.

 _A silver lining_ , he had said.

A number of people had come up to her at the gate, not with an update on Nora, but with summons for Octavia to speak with the Council. They had little information as to what had transpired in the chambers, only that officers in Command heard a gunshot and were forced to bypass the door's opening mechanism to manually enter the room. Inside Dr. Griffin had found Inspector Bishops on the floor near the conference table, bleeding from a gunshot wound two inches above her heart.

Octavia had seen what had followed, watched in horror as they took away her friend's unresponsive body to Med Bay for proper care. She'd left the tent silently, disappearing as Jasper and Miller continued to talk with the Ark, and headed for the wall, determined to wait for her brother to return. As it grew dark, she worried that he wouldn't make it back until the next morning.

She pulled her jacket closer as the temperature dropped alongside the setting sun. Deciding to give up her post in trade for a hot meal, she gave one last look out over the fence to hopes of seeing his mop of brown hair breaking through the trees before heading back into camp. A few campers shot her sympathetic glances as she walked by and she felt uncomfortable under their stares. She didn't want their pity, she wanted to kill the man that had hurt her friend.

A commotion near the center of camp made her quicken her pace and she rounded a row of tents to see twenty or so campers gathered around the fire.

"The grounder is gone!" Miller announced loudly, putting up his hands to quiet the crowd. More people slowly started to gather to listen and he looked unsure before continuing on. "He escaped while all of us were fucked up from those nuts, so let's do a head count and make sure he didn't take anyone with him, alright?"

People started to look frantically around and one another, searching the crowd for someone that they knew, someone that they cared for. Octavia looked around the sea of campers as well, bitter that the two people whose faces she wished to see most were both missing. One was experiencing what she probably thought was a good night's rest while the other was off gallivanting through the woods looking to be a hero. She hated herself a small bit for even looking around the crowd, she had trusted Lincoln enough to let him go, she had no reason to doubt him now.

Her attention drifted back to the rumblings of the crowd as she heard people start talking about going after Lincoln. Why couldn't they just let it go? They all started to join together, agreeing to go after the Grounder in order to continue living in safety. Just as the energy that had motivated the same group of people to hang one of their own started to course through the crowd, two voices broke through the chatter and silenced everyone.

She stared at the guns hanging over the shoulders of Clarke and her brother and remembered the surprise on Nora's face as she was shot through the chest. The heavy weapons thudded as the two dropped them to the ground, each explaining the proper use of them and the expected cooperation of the camp. People cheered as Bellamy and Clarke joined their hands and raised them victoriously, sharing a rare smile before they both looked out over the crowd. It took a few moments for Bellamy to find her, and fewer still to realize something was wrong as she slowly made her way towards him.

Pushing her way through the camp, she rubbed her hands on her thighs, wishing her hands would stop shaking. The overwhelming look of concern on his face made her want to cry because he had no idea what had happened. She hadn't told him that she was making a call request to Nora, he'd made it clear that he had nothing to say to anyone on the Ark. He wasn't even thinking about Nora. He thought that something had happened to _her,_ his baby sister. How did she tell him that she was fine but his best friend had been shot?

He eyes searched hers as his hands came up to her face, gently turning it side to side as he checked her up and down for any visible injuries. She pushed him off with a shake of head, pushing down the well of emotion that rushed over her at her brother's tender actions. He was still Bell, underneath all that bullshit exterior he had been throwing up since landing on the ground.

"Bell, seriously, stop," she mumbled as he continued to check her and he shot her a questioning look. She spread out her arms widely, dramatically spinning once before quickly crossing her arms and chewing on her thumb. "It's not me," she said quietly.

His confusion grew as he looked around the camp, searching for whatever was amiss. "Did something happen here? You guys ate those nuts from the ration packs, didn't you?" Bellamy sighed and shifted his weight, looking tired as he frowned. "We should have been more careful, tried to remember some of what they taught us in school," he said. He motioned towards the camp as he continued, Octavia looking torn as she listened. "They depend on us, O. We gotta start looking out for each other, you know? Try and make this camp a place where we can really survive."

She briefly wondered what had happened on his little adventure with Clarke that had changed his tune so dramatically but Octavia had to tell him before she exploded. Taking a step forward, she reached out a shaking hand to grab her brother's arm, gaining his attention. "Bellamy, something happened, and I need you to listen to everything I say before you have any kind of reaction, okay?"

He looked at her and took in her frightened state and pleading gaze. Fear flashing across his face before it was replaced with an emotionless mask, nodding for her to continue. When she looked at him expectantly he rolled his eyes while clearing his throat, "I promise, alright? Now tell me what's going on, Octavia," he requested, taking a shallow breath as he waited, feeling his patience wavering. "Please."

A wall slammed into his chest, knocking his breath away as his world fell away and his sister gave him the news. "Someone shot Nora."

* * *

 _Dear fellow traveler, under the moon_ _  
_ _I think I'm growing weary and I'm hoping you'll come soon_ _  
_ _And if I see you in clean new clothes_ _  
_ _I hope you hold the mirror up to show me what I chose_


	4. FOUR

**AN:** Formatting has been changed (previous chapters updated to reflect) so that the flashbacks are a little bit easier on the eyes. Please enjoy and feel free to leave comments

* * *

 **CHAPTER FOUR**

 _I've made up my mind over and over_ _  
_ _Keep pressing rewind but I'm getting older_ _  
_ _Tried every door, don't know who I'm looking for_ _  
_ _And I've made up my mind over and over_

 _What comes from the ground now is returning_ _  
_ _It's all the same sound and my ears are burning_ _  
_ _In some strange home, don't know who I'm working for_ _  
_ _I've made up my mind over and over_

 _Gone – JR JR_

* * *

 **BEFORE**

Too many times in her life Nora Bishop had taken things a step too far and found herself with terrible consequences. By the time she turned eighteen, she had used her nine lives to avoid the Skybox on a number of occasions. Her father's weight as a councilman had helped her to coast through her teenaged years with less fear than her peers, but as she waited for a knock on her door at 1600hrs, her father's occupation was what she feared most.

With her data-pad and a number of hours spent pouring through the Ark's personnel records, she had found the answer the little question that had been buzzing in her head. The answer to why Bellamy Blake was so incredibly odd. She'd noticed it as early as third year, when he didn't invite anyone home to play after school or bring anyone home for dinner. Too young to understand what it meant, she had kept her eye on the mysterious boy, wondering what made him so different than the others.

As they grew older his behavior only grew stranger and stranger – he didn't date, he didn't try to make friends, and he didn't make his presence known in any of their classes. While others their age moved on to partying on Telsa station and necking in the janitorial closets, Bellamy always had an excuse to avoid spending time with his peers outside the classroom. He'd wave off an invitation with an awkward thank you and forced smile before hurrying away.

She knew that his mother wasn't the reason, Aurora Blake was a lovely woman that she had met on several occasions. Blake didn't have a father that she knew of, and she had wondered if maybe that was the reason he didn't socialize with the other kids, but plenty of their classmates had lost a parent to either sickness or a floating. He didn't seem the type to value himself over others, so she doubted it was dad-issues.

When he had approached her in the Archives, she almost couldn't believe that he was asking her for help. At the mention of a birthday present for someone, a young girl, something had itched at the back of her mind, demanding attention. She'd accepted his plea for help admittedly for her own personal gain and the opportunity to learn more about the quiet, strange boy.

What she had discovered after hours of searching was not what she had expected. Or maybe it was she had secretly been hoping wasn't true. As the last piece of her puzzle came together, Nora realized that she was privy to a secret that could get someone killed.

Her stomach flipped guiltily as she wrung her hands together and waited, eyes flicking to the wrapped present on the table. She'd kept her word and found a gift suitable for a happy young girl. There was a data-stick with the collection on Old Earth televised drama called I Love Lucy, a sleek hair brush with a sparkly black handle, and a few pretty hair ribbons. It wasn't much, but it was more than she had received on some of her birthdays, so she hoped that it would suffice.

The keycard reader at the door chimed and Nora panicked as her father let himself into their small apartment, heavy set shoulders and a crease on his forehead. Quickly hiding the gift on the table in her bunk, she turned to him as he dropped himself into one of the dining chairs.

While hiding such a massive secret she didn't trust her ability to lie successfully to her dad if he were to ask any questions regarding the gift or her strange mood. Her approach to keeping a secret hidden was to keep silent at all costs. Even her dad would give up trying to get answers out of her after a ten-minute silent treatment.

"Dad, I thought you had a meeting with the station reps this afternoon," she said nervously, making sure the edges of the present weren't visible from where he was sitting.

Cole Bishop let out a heavy sigh as he leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes as he kicked his boots. Stretching out so that his feet were propped up on the table, he gave her a tired look. "Hydra is threatening to go on strike because of that nonsense with Hendricks last week and they refused to meet for negotiations today," he explained, looking exhausted. At her look of concern he shook his head, "They'll come around once they remember that Alpha Station won't be the only one without fresh water if they stop showing up. I wouldn't worry about it too much, Peanut."

It seemed that something was always happening on the Ark. No one was ever happy and there was always some major issue that the Council was handling. Too many nights she'd been kept awake by her father as he poured over Council notes in the living space of their quarters. It seemed exhausting and a waste of time in her opinion.

A tentative knock on the door interrupted their conversation and she leapt to her feet as her dad went to answer. As he pulled open the door, she quickly stuffed the wrapped gift in her backpack and shoved her feet into her boots, nearly tripping over the untied laces.

"Hey! Sorry, are you ready?" Nora fell against the doorframe, cutting into the pleasantries that her father was extending to an uncomfortable looking Bellamy Blake. Pushing past her dad, she grabbed him by the arm and tossed a wave over her shoulder. "Bye Dad, good luck with Hydra, I'm sure you'll figure out something. Remind them how much of an idiot Hendricks was! I love you, be home for dinner-"

She slammed the door and left behind a confused father. She quickly pulled an even more confused Bellamy down the corridor and away from her quarters. She didn't release her hold on his arm until they were a few intersections down and she started leading them towards Telsa Station, her stomach doing somersaults as she tried to appear normal. Why did she have to be so nosey all the time?

Ignoring any attempt to start a conversation, she led him down lesser populated corridors until they crossed the border of Telsa and he looked at her in confusion. "What are we doing down here?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her when she just shook her head and continued walking.

After rounding another corner she looked into the corners of the corridor and pushed him behind an archway so that they were hidden from the cameras. She checked around to make sure that they were alone and then pulled out the present from her backpack, handing it to him with a shaky smile. He took it, still confused why she had made such a show of taking him all the way to Tesla. He didn't have much experience with Nora Bishop, but he was pretty sure that she was acting weird.

"Thank you?" he was unsure as he accepted the gift and bowed it towards her in thanks for a second before sliding his backpack off to put it away. She only hummed a response and he noticed that her hands wouldn't stop fidgeting with one another. Zipping up his backpack, he gave her an odd look. "Are you okay? You kinda look like you're gonna be sick."

She did, with a thin sheen of sweat over her pale face and he could see her shaking slightly from side to side. "Do you need me to take you to Med Bay?" He motioned back down the way that they had come. "I mean, you took us to opposite end of the Station, but it's on my way home, I guess-"

"Who is the present for?"

He froze as they stared at each other in silence, both filled with dread. He felt his stomach drop at the question and tried to shake away the pounding in his head. Trying to hide the fear from his face, he cleared his throat and shook his head, he'd been prepared for her to ask. "My mom has this friend-"

"Do you have a sister?"

She cut him off as he felt the inability to hide the panic from his features overcame him. He had prepared for this all his life, for someone to finally discover his secret and for it all to come crumbling down. His mother had ingrained in him a number of different excuses to use in such a situation, things to keep their secret, things to keep Octavia and his mother alive. He knew that if anyone found out about Octavia that he was guaranteed to lose his family. He knew what he was supposed to say but as he looked at Nora Bishop, he couldn't find the words.

Part of him was relieved that someone finally knew. The other was horrified that it was someone with connections to the Council. Her father would float his mother without a second thought – he mother had broken the law. He stared at her in shock and opened his mouth to speak only to shut it, doing it twice more before she knocked his jaw shut with her hand.

"I'm going to take that as a yes," she said with a sigh, running a hand through her hair and nervously played with the split ends. "Well, this explains a lot."

* * *

 **AFTER**

Clarke was the first to recover from the news of the shooting and she grew pale as Octavia explained to her what they knew. She was comforted by the knowledge that her mother was taking care of Nora to the best of her abilities, but as Octavia mentioned the seizure and resulting coma, she felt her hopes waver. There was only so many options that her mother would left if the coma lasted more than 72 hours – the medical directive was explicit in what to do in such situations.

The only real option would be to take the patient off of life support and hope for the best. With the worsening conditions on the Ark, she wondered how much the medical team had been suffering from lack of supplies. As she watched Octavia do her best to calm down her furious brother, Clarke thought it best to keep such details to herself for the time being. She hadn't realized that Nora and Bellamy knew each other on the Ark.

"What do you mean, 'shot'?" Bellamy questioned, face torn between fury and panic. His eyes glanced to the sky, searching for the flickering light that he knew was the Ark. "Are you sure?"

Giving him an incredulous look, Octavia nodded her head dramatically. "I was there when it happened," she said with a frown as she tried to keep her voice steady, "I mean, I watched it happen.. she was talking to me and then someone came in and they- they shot her, Bell," her voice broke as she remembered the sound of the gun going off, the way that her body had crumpled and fallen out of view. "There was so much blood, and I couldn't really see what was happening- She's in a coma-"

Strong arms wrapped around her as she felt herself well up in tears and she held tightly to her brother. He cradled the back of her head as she sniffled and took a deep breath, reminded of the times that he had comforted her as a child. When he felt her breathing return to normal, he loosened his hold on her and turned to Clarke, who had chosen to look away during their private moment.

Using a dirty sleeve to wipe her face, Octavia cursed herself for losing control twice in the same day. Crying wouldn't help her friend and she was almost certain and Nora would mock her for worrying about a coma. It wasn't like it was the first time the young woman had been unconscious for a few days as the result of an injury.

 _But the last time didn't involve bullets_.

"Do you think that this has anything to do with what happened today with Dax?" Clarke gave him a confused look, not following as Octavia also looked lost.

"What happened with Dax?" she asked, looking between the two of them, for the first time noticing how tired and bloody they both looked. Dried dirt and blood covered their faces and each sported a number of cuts and bruises.

"He's dead," Clarke said simply, not looking sad about the fact.

"He tried to kill me," Bellamy explained shortly while hoping to avoid going into further details about what had happened during his afternoon. At his sister's shocked expression, he shrugged. "Someone on the Ark wanted me dead, probably to keep me from telling Jaha and the Guard why I shot him."

"It would make sense that they would be tying up loose ends," Clarke agreed, though still unsure of how Nora was involved in the situation. She was a member of the Guard. Did she help Bellamy escape? Was she there when he shot Jaha or even helped him? She didn't know much about the girl outside of her experiences with her in Med Bay. Looking at Bellamy, she figured they could be around the same age.

"So, you think whoever sent Dax to kill you also wanted to take Nora out of the picture?" Octavia said slowly, trying to accept that someone had tried to murder not only her best friend, but also her brother. She shook her head in confusion. "But Nora said that you didn't even tell her what you were going to do. Why would they shoot her if she didn't know anything?"

"Because Shumway was the one that gave me the gun," Bellamy said firmly, nodding his head as the puzzle started to come together. "He was our Commander at the Academy, he knew that we were close. Maybe he didn't believe her."

"And if someone on the Ark wants Jaha dead, maybe a dead councilman's daughter was close enough," Clarke said, understanding more what was going on and felt determination start to set in. "We need to talk to the Council," she said with a pointed look towards her fellow leader. Her words to him earlier in the woods came back her as watched his face set in a hardened mask.

"No," Bellamy said with a shake of his head, stomping off towards the Communications tent. "We need to talk to Jaha."

* * *

It took another hour to get the video conference with Jaha set up. Deciding it would be best if only Clarke and Bellamy spoke with the Chancellor, Octavia had resumed her post at the wall. The night was quiet as she searched the woods for any sign of movement. Bellamy wandered over while waiting for the call to begin, bringing with him a blanket that they had salvaged from the supply shelter.

She nodded in acknowledgment and thanks as he wrapped it around her shoulders and took a step back. The space between them remind her of why it was there and she turned back to the woods, pulling the blanket closer. She wondered if Lincoln was alright. She hoped that he was healing from the wounds they had inflicted upon him.

"I know that you're still mad at me," he said quietly behind her, focusing into the woods to avoid looking at her for a moment. "But you're going to have to find a way to live with me, because I'm not going anywhere."

Shifting to look back at him, she gave him a thoughtful look. "She asked about you, you know," she said as a cold shiver ran through her, forcing her to borrow further into the blanket. He stilled her words, guilt flashing over his face before he stood sharply at the ground. "Before getting shot, I mean," she said, tone bitter before she continued, "She said that you didn't tell her what you were gonna shoot Jaha. Why not?"

It had been a question burning at her all afternoon. While she knew that Nora would never have agreed to such a terrible and treasonous plan, she couldn't believe that he had managed to keep it from her. She was worried that while she had been in the Skybox her brother had alienated himself from the only person left in his life to care for him.

A pained look took over his face as he shifted awkwardly to the side and refused to meet her gaze. "I didn't have the time to tell her," he admitted in a low voice, "Not if I wanted to make it in time for the drop and I couldn't let you go alone."

"Wait, so you didn't even tell her goodbye before you jumped on a dropship headed to a _different planet_?" Octavia said, looking at him disbelievingly. "What is wrong with you? You could have least left her a note!"

Bellamy let out a scoff and shot her an annoyed look, "Seriously, O? A note? And what exactly was I supposed to put in it? 'Headed to Earth, have a nice life!'? Don't be ridiculous," he muttered, pacing a bit in the dirt as he grew irritated that the conversation wasn't going the way that he had initially planned. "I thought that it would be better if she didn't know, you know- plausible deniability and all that. If she knew what I was going to do they would have _floated_ her once they found out!"

"Well, it would have been better than not saying anything at all!" she argued as both of their voices louder with anger. "After everything that she did for you, you just _left_ her to clean up your mess! You left her up there with Shumway and his people, to get fucking shot, and you didn't even say goodbye, you fucking asshole."

"Don't you think I get that?" he finally exploded, taking a step forward as his voice echoed through the nearby woods. He took a deep breath, trying to control himself as he lowered his voice. "She could die up there and I'll never get the chance to make it right, O. I made a mistake, okay? I fucked up."

He hung his head in defeat, all the anger leaving him as he felt the situation rest heavily on his shoulders. Things had gotten out of control faster than he could have predicted. When Shumway had offered him the gun and an opportunity to save his sister, he hadn't hesitated or had even thought what about what Nora would say if she saw him take it. All that had mattered was his sister and doing whatever it took to keep her safe. He had once again made the mistake of thinking that she was the only thing that mattered in his life.

"Bellamy," Clarke called from behind him, aware that she was intruding on a moment between the Blake siblings but knowing that the Ark wouldn't wait. "It's time."

With a nod of his head to her, he looked back at his sister once more and turned from her with a sigh. Halfway to the Communications tent, he remembered the reason he had approached her in the first place. Stopping to call back at her, she didn't turn at his voice.

"The Grounder escaping," he called, already knowing the answer to his question, "Was that you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she answered him, ending the conversation as she leaned into the wall and focused on her post.

Sighing quietly to himself, he continued on his way to the Communications tent, wondering when things had gotten so twisted. Stepping into the tent, he was determined to set things right.

* * *

 _I can't be everything you want me to be_ _  
_ _Finally, I can see the light through the leaves_ _  
_ _But it's all gone_


	5. FIVE

**AN:** How crap, thank you all for the support! Shout out to Bee-bac, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, masqueraderose3, and anonymous guest for their reviews, you're all awesome. Hope you guys enjoy this next one, it was a pretty fun one to write. Please alert and comment with your thoughts, as always.

* * *

 **CHAPTER FIVE**

 _Caught in the riptide, I was searching for the truth_ _  
_ _There was a reason I collided into you_ _  
_

 _Nobody knows why, nobody knows how and_ _  
_ _This feeling begins just like a spark_ _  
_ _Tossing and turning inside of your heart, exploding in the dark_

 _Here with Me – Susie Suh_

* * *

 **BEFORE**

For three days Bellamy waited for the knock on their door that would signify her betrayal of his secret. He couldn't sleep, instead spending the time to listen to the light snores of his family and waited for footsteps to march down the corridor. He waited for the intrusive pounding that would be followed by the door being forced open as the Guard came to take away his mother. He knew that it was only a matter of time before Nora Bishop betrayed him, because he hadn't given her a reason not to.

He had left her in the corridor in Telsa, overwhelmed with the urge to be sick – vision blurring as he nearly sprinted home. She had called after him, begging for him to go back, to talk with her, but he'd fled from the sound of her voice. After locking the door behind him, he hadn't left their quarters except to go out early in the morning to get his daily rations. He took an elaborate route through the stations, avoiding the busiest corridors and kept his distance from Alpha Station.

He'd spent three days trying to think of something, _anything_ , that would save them from further discovery but he had come up with nothing short of finding a way to get rid of Nora. He still wasn't entirely sure _how_ she had figured out about his secret, but it couldn't have been easy to put together the clues. After more than a decade of hiding another human being in their small quarters, and their lives, he and his mother had grown used to the extra precautions they both had to take to keep Octavia safe. Maybe they had gotten too comfortable, slipped up, and mentioned something that they shouldn't have.

Before she was born, Bellamy had been different. He'd been full of life and laughter, a thirst for knowledge, and a drive to one day give his mother a better life. He had wanted to provide for her and show her that the Ark was an amazing place to live – at six years old, he thought it was the best place in the whole galaxy. But when he held his sister for the first time, felt how small and fragile she was in his arms, he had felt those dreams slip away to be replaced with something different: a purpose; she was his responsibility and it was his duty to keep her safe.

Gone were the friends, the outgoing personality, even his grades never lifting to a level that would get him recognized by his teachers, nothing to draw attention to himself. Anyone that tried to get to know him was someone that he went out of his way to avoid. It took a few years for his peers and teachers to accept the change but soon no one remembered how he used to behave.

He found it lonelier as he grew older and watched as his peers romantically paired off with one another. Their public displays of affection flooded the corridors in the Education District and he found himself wishing to be among them, but knew that it was an impossibility. Any connections would one day lead to questions he couldn't answer, so he didn't make connections. He didn't need anyone else when he had his mother and Octavia, and he did it for them.

He would do anything for them, anything it took to keep them safe. As the night dragged on, Bellamy thought of only one solution to his problem, and he was sick with himself for even considering it a possibility. He had gone through the problem over and over, trying to look at it from angles, to see it in every possible light, to think of everything _but_ that option. He even wondered if he could pay her off somehow but he knew that they had nothing that would be valuable enough to buy her silence.

It all came back to Nora Bishop and whether or not he could trust her to keep his secret. He couldn't trust her, he didn't even _know_ her. While he shared space with her most of his life, he knew almost nothing about her besides her name and her father. He hadn't paid attention to her in class, hadn't noticed her around the Ark, and had approached her in the Archives with no idea what he was doing. A total stranger held his life- no, his family's lives, in her hands and he couldn't allow himself to believe that someone would be merciful enough to let them go. He had to do _something_.

The idea came to him on the second night as he struggled to fall asleep. Octavia was tucked into his side, clutching most of the blankets to herself. He didn't mind as he tended to run through the night, and watched as she lightly snored, eyebrows twitching with every breath. He had used a gentle thumb to rub the furrow from between them and she had nestled further into the blankets, turning her back to him with a small hum.

There was only one option that would make the problem go away entirely, but only if Nora hadn't told anyone else yet about what she had discovered. If she had already told then it wouldn't matter for long, but if she had kept silent, then only she knew the truth. It would be easy to make the problem go away if Nora did and there were plenty of places on the Ark that someone could.. disappear.

He didn't like the idea of killing someone, it made him want curl up and hide beneath his bed like a child, but he didn't see another choice. Whatever the cost, he had to keep his family safe. When he reminded himself that it wouldn't be a faceless someone that he killed, but rather someone that he knew, it was hard to imagine the blood of Nora Bishop on his hands. The light from her eyes would go out, her hopes and dreams of the future would fade, and her parents would be left to mourn her, never knowing the truth of why she died if he was successful.

He didn't personally know her parents, but he knew that his mom had voted for Cole Bishop to join the council and that his wife Angela managed the Purser's Office in Go-Sci. Neither seemed to be awful people and probably weren't but suffered the misfortune of having Nora for a daughter. He decided to find a way to make it as painless as possible for her if he was truly forced to kill her – a faulty airlock would be best. He'd been able to fall asleep after promising himself that killing Nora would only be the last resort.

Octavia, elated to have constant company and more free time above the floor, hadn't questioned her brother's reclusive state or distracted mood. She had loved the gift he had given her and he tried to hide his surprise as she had opened it. He didn't know what Nora had chosen as a gift and he had been hoping that it wasn't just an empty box or something worse than a pair of socks. They had plugged in the data-stick and found themselves enraptured by the television show I Love Lucy.

The black and white recording showed them more of Earth than any of the videos Bellamy had seen in his classes. His sister fell in love with the show before the first episode had finished. It was amazing to see what the world had been like before the bombs had destroyed everything. People walked on sidewalks, had picnics in the park, drove to work from their homes that sat in little patches together, and could even watch a movie outside while sitting in their cars. Transportation ranged from cars, bikes, shoes with giant wheels on the bottoms of them, to trains and airplanes.

They were confused by how people could spent their time and money so frivolously. Octavia's eyes were wide as they watched an episode where the characters were all dressed up to go to a masquerade ball, gowns flowing and extravagant while the men wore crisp suits. She'd let out a dreamy sigh as her brother shook his head, not understanding how the world used to function. He wondered if life was any better back then but reasoned that it couldn't have been that great if it had led the world to self-destruction.

His mother took notice to his behavior after he declined her offer to take a walk through the station after Octavia had fallen asleep. It was their way of decompressing from the claustrophobia that they both felt in their small quarters, but both felt guilty for their feelings when they saw how well Octavia dealt with her confinement. They would wait until she fell asleep to wander the empty corridors of the Ark, sometimes stopping for an ice cream bar from the mess hall if his mother had enough spare credits on her account. It was their little way of spending time just the two of them, and at his refusal to go combined with his withdrawn attitude for three days, Aurora Blake had had enough.

After it took her only ten minutes to interrogate the reason out of him, he started to think that his mother would have made a good member of the Guard. While he had expected anger from her, she had handled the news of their discovery better than he was comfortable with, and had only nodded her head calmly before disappearing into the bathroom. He heard it click it shut and the shower start to run, a light melody seeping under the door as she hummed softly.

Five minutes passed and the water timer chimed as the shower shut itself off. Another ten minutes passed before his mother reappeared as she towel dried her hair. He waited for her to speak, feeling the guilt starting to overwhelm him as he tried to read her face. With a sigh, she sat down next to him on his bunk, wrapping her arms around him as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"We're going to get through this," she said quietly, giving him a tight squeeze while rocking side to side slightly. He closed his eyes, leaning into her warm embrace. "I know that you didn't mean for this to happen, but you need to help me fix it, okay?"

He opened his eyes and looked at her, unsure what they could do to fix his mistake. His heart beat faster as he thought back to his last resort. "What are we going to do?"

"Well, tomorrow night I'm going to make my famous potato cakes," she said with small smile, pulling back her head to flick him on the nose lightly. He frowned at her calm attitude, wondering if his mother truly understood the gravity of their situation. Maybe she was in shock like he had been. Opening his mouth to voice his concern, she silenced him with a raised eyebrow and shake of her head. "And you're going to invite Nora Bishop over for dinner."

* * *

 **AFTER**

"Would you like more beans, dear?"

Nora opened her eyes to Aurora Blake offering her a spoonful of mashed soy beans, a glassy look in her eyes. She didn't wait for a rely before dumping a heaping scoop on her plate with a loud splat and dropped the spoon to the table, mumbling something to herself. Nora stared at her in open shock and reached out a shaking hand to touch the woman. She gasped as her hand felt solid form beneath Aurora's shirt and pulled it back as if stung.

Her skin crawled as the air buzzed around her, the hair on her arms prickling up. The beans on her plate swirled together, emptying into a black void before her plate was sucked away. A shake shuddered through the room and her chair lowered a few inches before growing too tall, bashing her knee into the table.

"Could you pass the milk?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice, turning to find him seated across from her, looking at her with an impatient face. A pitcher of soy milk sat on the table next to his already full cup and she looked at him in confusion. "I don't understand-" she started, pushing her seat back from the table in an attempt to stand. The floor disappeared for a moment, flashing a bright white before returning to the dull gray of steel.

"No, don't!" Two small arms wrapped around her waist as Octavia launched herself out of her seat to tackle her to the ground. She clasped a hand over Nora's mouth, looking terrified as she stared at the door. "They'll hear you!"

Neither Bellamy nor his mother took notice to them, both staring silently at their plates. Nora tried to push the small girl off of her and managed to push herself across the floor, trying not to kick Octavia in the face as she struggled to get away. Octavia burst into tears, sobbing into her hands. Nora used the wall to pull herself up, surprised when a burst of pain in her chest sent her back to the floor with a cry.

Breathing heavily, she lay on her back, trying to will the pain to go away. It felt like something was trying to burst its way out of her heart, a pressure that was building from within. She pressed a hand to her heart, hoping to counteract the pain. Fog seeped into the edges of her vision as a loud ringing filled her ears. Suddenly, Aurora was leaning over her, eyes empty as she watched her struggle to breathe.

She looked her, head tilted as Nora felt herself slipping under a wave of unconsciousness, and a small smile came over her. Her teeth showed as she nodded her head and stood up, taking a step back as Nora reached up a hand to her, begging her to help. "May we meet again," she whispered, taking another step back as Bellamy instantly took her place, standing above her with a vacant expression.

"Please," she whispered, voice thick with pain and desperation as the ringing in her ears grew loud enough that she was cradling her head. White hot pain exploded out of her chest as her shirt slowly started turning red, blood soaking through the thin fabric. She felt her face wet with tears as she forced her eyes open to meet his. "Bellamy, please-"

Her head exploded in searing pain and she let out a scream, accepting the darkness. A heartbeat passed and she felt her face grow warm, a light brush of air teased her hair. Blinking her eyes open, she gasped for air and was blinded by a bright light. Raising a hand to shield her eyes, she tried to focus on regaining her breath and looked wildly around her. As the light faded, she felt the pain disappear but found her breath taken away by the view before her.

The warmth on her face and blinding light were both a result of the bright sun above her, casting its rays onto a meadow spread out before her. Taking an unsteady step, she walked forward with her arms out, fingers tickling the wildflowers that waved in the breeze around her. Taking a deep breath in, she felt the fresh air touch her lungs sweetly. She let out a giddy laugh and took off sprinting through the meadow, running in circles with her arms spread wide and to the sparkling blue sky. She laughed and spun tightly, her white dress swirling around her knees as she dug her bare toes into the soft dirt.

A bird flew overhead and let out a loud cry, drawing her attention to the far end of the meadow. She turned, smile dropping slowly from her face as she saw him, standing at the edge of the woods. His face was bloody, a large cut above his eye and a split lip, and he held a gun limply at his side. She walked towards him, and stopped a few paces away when he raised the gun to meet her.

She paused before taking another step forward, followed by another, until the barrel of the gun was pressed lightly into her chest. His hand on the gun was still as she reached up to lay a hand on his, not moving its trajectory. A tear fell down his cheek as he pulled the trigger, the end of the gun exploding into a shower of flower petals. Nora caught them in her hand, blowing them back into his face as he dropped the gun to land in the grass.

She let out a laugh and reached out to grab his hand, only to grab air as the meadow disappeared and darkness surrounded her. She felt a presence behind her and shivered as a light breath touched her neck. "It's time to wake up," he whispered, brushing a soft kiss over her shoulder.

She turned, trying to catch him before he was gone again but felt herself being pulled by an invisible string, sweeping her further into the darkness. She grabbed at the air but had no control of her body as she was dragged away. She tried to cry out, to beg him to stay, but her voice came out only as a gasp of air as the pain returned in her chest. As if hooked from where the pain originated, she was pulled up as an invisible force crashed into her from behind and she felt nothing.

* * *

Cole Bishop fought to keep his eyes open, head drifting to fall to his shoulder before he would jump awake and adjust his position in his chair. He let out a sigh, rubbing a tired hand over his face as he tried to find a comfortable way to sit. Just as he felt his eyes start to drift closed once more, a sound to his right shocked him awake.

"Somebody get Abby!" he yelled, surprising two medical techs that were in the room into action, as he hurried to grab his daughter's hand. Her eyes blinked at him and they flashed to her hand in his, a small frown on her face in confusion. Letting out a mix between a laugh and a sob, he gently rubbed her hand between both of his before reaching out to brush her cheek with his thumb. "Hey, Peanut. Welcome back."

* * *

 _Calling your name in the midnight hour, reaching for you from the endless dream_ _  
_ _So many miles between us now, but you are always here with me_


	6. SIX

**AN:** Thanks for all the reviews and alerts, you guys are awesome! Please enjoy chapter six - keep mind that I've taken liberties with the timeline of the show.

* * *

 **CHAPTER SIX**

 _you used to check the weather_  
 _now you stopped that_  
 _you used to look at time_  
 _now you stopped that_  
 _you used to wear red_  
 _now you wear white_  
 _what happens all the time_  
 _it happens all the time_

 _Space Is Only Noise If You Can See – Nicolas Jaar_

* * *

 **BEFORE**

"Where is it you're going again?"

Nora shoved her data-pad into her bag and paused, wincing as her dad tore himself away from the television to look over his shoulder at her. His favorite show was playing, an old western that they played on the network every evening. She had hoped he wouldn't notice her leaving but had no such luck.

"I have an Argo-Sci project to do," she explained shortly, looking around their small apartment for her boots. She found them tucked under her bunk and pulled them out, avoiding her father's stare. "You know, one of those dumb Year Twelve projects they make us do."

"I know that, but where are you _going_ ," he asked, giving her his signature 'Dad-look' that didn't leave room for excuses. "Your mother will ask," he excused.

"Uh, my partner is that Bellamy Blake kid," she said in a hurry, slinging her bag across her body and waited impatiently by the door. She shifted from side to side, hoping that her father couldn't sense her distress. "I think we might go to the Archives or something," she lied with a small shrug.

Her father seemed satisfied with her answer and nodded his head. "Quiet kid, that Blake," he said, turning back to his black and white western film. He waved a hand as she let out a breath, "Home before curfew," he reminded, shaking his head as he heard his daughter say a hurried goodbye before the door slammed shut.

The walk to Factory Station was uneventful and before she knew, Nora was entering residential section B-17. Her heart beat fast as she came to a stop in front of a door with the plague 'BLAKE' secured above the key card reader. She stood, hand raised to knock, as it was suddenly opened within and she was face to face with a smiling older woman. Nora recognized her from around the Ark and knew that it was Bellamy's mother, Aurora. Her dark eyes and hair matched that of her son's, though the smile was something new.

"You must be Nora!" she exclaimed, opening the door wider to usher her in before glancing around the hall, closing the door behind them. She rested a hand on the young girl's shoulder, touch light with a mother's comfort. "Bellamy has told us all about you," she continued, guiding Nora further into their small apartment.

Speaking of, he was sitting uncomfortably on the bottom bunk of their bed, shooting an unreadable look in Nora's direction. She felt her stomach drop as she awkwardly stood by the door, wondering what it was she was supposed to do and opted to stay silent. When he had approached in her in the Mess Hall, three days after he had fled from her on Telsa, the last thing she had expect from him was for Bellamy Blake to invite her over for dinner.

It had been a simple exchange, he had barely said more than "Dinner tonight?" before once again fleeing her presence, leaving her alone to her morning rations. She didn't know what she thought would come of her nosiness, or her blunt confession that she knew about his sister, but she hadn't expected him to leave her with only more questions. An alert on her data-pad had notified her of his message with more details, and she'd arrived at the requested time. He didn't look happy to see her, so she had to imagine that the evening had been his mother's plan.

She noticed that their dining table was pushed against one side of the room, and she felt Aurora's eyes follow hers to the space in the middle of the floor. Bellamy stood up as she nodded to him, and he bent down to lift up a trap door, revealing a crawl space beneath their room. He reach out a hand and helped a small, dark haired girl up from the space and Nora let out a small gasp.

The girl turned to her, a nervous look on her face as she stood still, staring at her with wide eyes. She looked at Bellamy, waiting for his approval, and he slowly nodded his head down at her. Taking a step forward, she reached out a shaking hand to Nora, clutching her other hand to her side. "I'm Octavia," she said in a small voice.

Nora realized that the entire Blake family was watching her, waiting for her reaction, and that Octavia was slowly losing her nerve as her hand continued to shake. She realized that she was probably the first person that Octavia had ever met, outside her own family, and put on a soft smile as she reached out to shake her hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Octavia," she said, surprised as the small girl clutched to her hand, just shy of desperately. "I'm Nora."

A wide smile burst across Octavia's face before she shyly hid her face, taking a step behind Bellamy's protective form. He rested a hand on her shoulder, staring at Nora, as his mother busied herself in the small kitchen their apartment boasted. Slowly, everyone made their way around the table Aurora chatted enough for all them, bringing a plate of hot cakes to the table, sitting herself at the head.

Dinner passed mostly in silence, Octavia stealing looks across the table to Nora, seeming to think she would disappear if she looked away for too long. She longed to ask her millions of questions, to talk to _anyone_ besides her mother and brother, but knew that it would be rude to overwhelm their guest. She ate her mother's potato cakes in restrained silence, wishing that anyone at the table would start a conversation. After listening to her mother mutter on about how to properly darn a pair of socks, Octavia couldn't stand it any longer.

"How old are you?" she blurted out, cutting through her mother's ramblings, and winced at the sharp pinch to her knee from her brother. She glared at him, sticking out her tongue before looking across the table to the strange girl she had been allowed to meet.

Nora looked surprised by the abrupt question and swallowed her mouthful of food before responding. "I'm eighteen, same as your brother," she replied, smiling when the young girl nodded and looked lost for a moment. She knew the answer already, Octavia's birthday being the start to everything, but felt like she needed to continue the conversation. "How old are you?"

"Twel-"

"You know how old she is," Bellamy cut in harshly, surprising everyone at the table with his tone. Octavia gave him a hurt look and instantly turned down to look at her plate in dismay. He let out a small sigh and shoved another forkful of food into his mouth as his mother glared at him. She turned to Nora, who was awkwardly moving her food on her plate, stomach too uneasy to eat the delicious smelling meal.

"What are you plans for after graduation?" Aurora asked politely, trying to keep the conversation civil. "Are you going to follow your father into a career in politics?"

At the mention of her father, Bellamy stabbed at his plate loudly, a dark look on his face. Nora did her best to ignore his attitude and shook her head, taking a small bite of her food. "Actually, I want to join the Guard-"

He let out a scoff and small laugh, shrinking under his mother's poisonous stare. Nora turned to look at him, annoyed with his behavior. "Is that funny to you or something?"

"Just can't imagine someone like you being in the Guard, that's all," he muttered, refusing to meet her gaze, shrugging slightly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She frowned, not understanding his insinuation. Aurora watched the two of them carefully and Octavia looked amused by her brother's attitude.

"I mean, the Guard is hard work," he said slowly, meeting her gaze and holding it. "I can't imagine someone as _privileged_ as yourself to be up to the task, that's all."

Her brow furrowed as she stared at him, truly taken aback by his feelings towards her. Sure, her father was a part of the council and they had moved from Agro to Alpha station when he had been elected, but Bellamy had seen her family's quarters – they weren't much different than the Blake's. He didn't know the first thing about her, who was he to say that she was privileged?

"Becoming a member of the Guard is the only dream I've ever had," she said, choosing to ignore him as she focused her attention instead to Octavia, who looked at her like she had found a new hero. "I want to be able to help people on the Ark, to make some sort of difference."

"I think that's a commendable dream, dear," Aurora cut her son off as she saw him open his mouth and passed him the plate of hot cakes with a pointed stare. He took the plate with an apologetic look, feeling ashamed with his behavior as he felt her gaze soften.

"I thought you wanted to join the Guard, Bells," Octavia said through a mouthful of food, face bright red as she realized she was being rude. She swallowed quickly and took a drink of water. It was Nora's turn to be surprised as he glared at his sister, silencing her with a small squeak.

"You do?" Nora asked, looking at him with a tilted, thoughtful look. She could imagine him in the uniform and had to admit that it wouldn't look bad on him. The sour face he seemed to always have would match the black uniforms perfectly, even. He only grunted in response and nodded his head, focusing back to his plate. "My dad could give you a recommendation if you need it," she offered, trying to keep her voice friendly.

"That would be fantastic!" Aurora said, face flashing a look of relief, as she thought of what a recommendation from Cole Bishop would mean. It would guarantee Bellamy's acceptance into the Academy, and could possibly even give him an opportunity for Officer training if he was fortunate enough.

"You can't be serious," Bellamy exclaimed to his mother, all pretenses of being polite were gone as his eyes flashed dangerously. "I don't need him to give me a reference, okay? We don't need to indebt ourselves to them!"

"You wouldn't owe him anything," Nora said slowly, looking at him in confusion. "He does it all the time, it's really not a big deal."

"I don't care," he argued back, eyes shooting to his sister for a split second before they hardened and met Nora's. "I don't need your help and I _definitely_ don't need your father's!"

"Okay, seriously, what is your problem? You've been acting weird all night. _You_ invited me," Nora reminded, tired of ignoring his obvious issue with her. He continued to glare at her his jaw clenched in restrained fury. She set out a frustrated sigh and pushed her chair back from the table. Shaking her head, she grabbed her bag off of the back of the chair and turned to Aurora, who looked confused by her son's behavior. "I think I should go," she muttered, pushing in her chair as she headed to the door. "Thank you for dinner, it was nice to meet you. Happy late birthday, Octavia," she said, giving the young girl a genuine smile.

She opened the door and checked the corridor for anyone passing by before letting herself out, careful not to show the interior of the Blake's apartment as she closed the door. She didn't make eye contact with anyone as she strode through Factory's corridors, muttering to herself at the rudeness of people when she heard her name being called. Annoyed that someone would choose then to bother her, she turned on her heel to face her pursuer. A look of obvious distaste came over her face as she saw Bellamy jogging up the corridor to her, coming to a hesitant stop in front of her. `

"What do you want, Blake?" She looked at him impatiently, and he winced under her annoyed gaze. He looked around the busy corridor and grabbed her by the arm, pushing her against the wall, and put himself between her and the moving people. Her eyes darted to where he still held her by the upper arm and met his with an eye brow raised.

"Look, I'm sorry for how I acted back there," he started, choosing to look anywhere than continue meeting her gaze. "You should come back, my mom would really appreciate it. We'd _all_ appreciate it," he corrected, trying to emphasize that a third party would also like her to return.

In fact, said third party had been the one to send him chasing after her in the first place. While Octavia wished to be friends with Nora Bishop, that was not the reason that her brother sought after her. The entire reason behind his invitation to dinner had been to find out what she planned to do with her knowledge of Octavia. All that he had succeeded in doing over the course of dinner was piss her off and send her running, presumably to go straight home and tell her father about the illegal living under the Blake's quarters.

"Why did you even invite me over in the first place?" Nora asked, very much annoyed by the whole situation she had gotten herself caught in. She should have ignored the voice in the back of her head that had nagged to know about Bellamy Blake and his strange behavior. She should have known that it would have been more trouble than it was worth. "You obviously don't want to be friends, or have any interest in me at all, so is this just about making sure I keep my mouth shut?"

He had the decency to look somewhat ashamed, though she wasn't really all that surprised. His family had been what brought them together in the first place.

"Look," she said, putting a hand on his chest to push him a step back, and ducked under his arm, stepping out into the corridor. "I get that I don't understand what it's like to have a family like yours, but that doesn't mean that I don't understand the value of a human life, Blake," she said bitterly, feeling insulted that he thought so lowly of her. "I'm not a snitch, I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me."

She could see it in his face that he didn't believe a word that she said and she let out a laugh, half throwing her hands in the air before shoving them into her pockets.

"Whatever," she muttered, turning to melt into the traffic of the corridor as a hand reached out to grab hers. Looking down at his hand on hers, her eyes traveled up to meet his and was taken aback by how vulnerable he looked, unsure even what he was doing as he kept her from leaving. His hand tightened for a moment before dropping hers, and he nodded his head, thinking to himself.

"Okay," he said again, eyes flicking to hold hers as he let out a short breath. "Okay, I trust you."

* * *

 **AFTER**

"Just where do you think you're going?"

Nora flinched at the sharp tone behind her and slowly turned to see Dr. Griffin watching her from the doorway. With her clothes in arm, boots on her feet, and IV dangling abandoned by the bed, she appeared to be caught and tried to look less obvious. Snapping her fingers towards the bed, Abby motioned her back towards it but she stubbornly remained standing.

"The Exodus ship leaves in three days and I _have_ to be on it," she said, setting her clothes onto the bed as she started to change. "I need you to clear me for the drop,"

Her left shoulder and chest were sore from the bullet wound but the pain was tolerable enough that she chose to by-pass the pain medication. She struggled to pull on her pants one-armed but managed to hop into them, using the upwards momentum to pull them up. The older woman looked impressed for a moment before laughing softly as Nora struggled to put on her black button-up shirt and resigned to help the wounded girl get dressed.

"I'd be a terrible doctor if I thought you were medically fit for the drop, Nora," she said seriously, helping her strap her holster across her back. With a small pat, she motioned her to turn around and held up a simple black sling, moving to put it around her shoulder. "But I know that even if everyone on this ship tried to stop you, you'd still be on that drop ship. _Especially_ if your dad tried to stop you," she said with a small laugh.

Nora returned her smile and set out a sigh, settling the sling around her shoulder so that the pressure was less to her sore muscles. "I'm glad that we see eye to eye on this, Doc," she said, pulling on her boots and sheepishly waited for Abby to lean down and tie them for her. "Thought I was going to have bust my way out of here,"

"I was on my way to discharge you," Abby said, pulling the laces a little too tightly with a pointed look. Timing was everything, wasn't it? "And then send you up to CC, you've got a call waiting from the ground and then the Chancellor would like to talk to you about what happened," she trailed off, frowning as she was reminded of the issues the council still faced. Shaking her head, she tried to give Nora a reassuring smile, "But that can wait until after the call. You've got some worried people down on the ground," she said with a more genuine smile. Patting her on the knee, she stood up and motioned to the door. "There's an officer outside that will take you to CC,"

Nora shook her head at the comment and opened the door to see Sergeant Scott waiting patiently in the corridor. With a nod to Abby, she walked out into the corridor and headed for CC. Unlike her last journey, it was uneventful and most people didn't notice them as they passed by. A few recognized her and shot sympathetic looks towards her sling but she ignored them as they walked the short distance to CC.

The energy inside was less charged than the last, but she received many nods upon entering and Scott led her towards the Council Chambers. She hesitated only for a moment before remembering what her father had told her- that Shumway had killed himself, and she told herself there was nothing to fear. He couldn't shoot her, couldn't hurt her, he couldn't even look at her again. Pushing her unease down, she straightened her shoulders and crossed into the room, almost surprised that there wasn't even a stain where her body had been only days before.

"They had it cleaned," Scott said quietly, noticing her distant stare towards the ground, and led her through the room to a small room adjacent to the far wall.

Using his key card to open it, he motioned her inside. A small monitor was set up, screen facing away so that while she was sitting she would be able to see the door. She appreciated the strategic placement and nodded to him, walking into the room. He gave her a nod and used his key card to close the door and stood his post outside, under strict order by Councilman Bishop.

Inside, Nora took a moment to look around the small room and noted the storage boxes pushed to one side, leaving room enough to squeeze around to sit at the desk they had moved in. Not knowing who to expect to be on the other side of the screen, she took a deep breath and let it out before wedging her way behind the desk. She put on the headset with shaking hands, taking in one more deep breath before clicking on the monitor.

"Ground, do you read? This is Ark Station, over."

The image took a few seconds to load and she head his voice before she saw him, stomach dropping as her heart stopped. Static filled her ears for another second before the picture cleared and she could hear them bickering, obviously not aware that her end was receiving. She let out a laugh and reached out to touch the monitor, fingers brushing over his face as he glared at someone off screen.

"Ground, I repeat, do you read?"

Octavia looked at her brother in annoyance, punching him in the shoulder with a laugh as he looked at her in dramatic shock. He swatted out a hand, swatting her pony tail into her face as she continued to laugh. Nora watched, trying to get their attention just as a loud alarm rang loudly throughout the Ark. She pulled off the headset, looking up just as Scott opened the door, looking sorry.

"Solar flare," he said, glancing at the monitor sadly, as Nora's heart sank. "It'll have knocked out communications, for a couple of hours, tops. Don't' worry, they know we're coming."

His words only confirmed what she already knew and she walked from the room, trying not to let her disappointment show on her face. It didn't matter, tomorrow was Unity Day and two days after that the first Exodus Ship would drop to the surface, taking her with along with it. Three days and she would be on the Earth's surface, taking her first breath of fresh air. The solar flare was disappointing, sure, but she wanted more than a monitor, she wanted _them_. She could wait three more days.

* * *

 _See I want to write a story about two long lines_ _  
_ _Two pretty lines that fall in love_ _  
_ _Two little spaces they're filled with echoes_ _  
_ _Did the lines ever intersect one another, at a moment in time?_


	7. SEVEN

**AN:** Thankyouthankyouthankyou to everyone that has taken the time to review, favorite, and alert – you're all amazing and you make my day. I'm happy so see that people are enjoying Nora and her story, and I'm pretty relieved that most of you seem to find Bellamy &Co in-character. We're getting closer to the end of Part 1 (S01), so get ready for a bumpy ride! Without further ado, Chapter7, hope you all enjoy it! – RJL

* * *

 **CHAPTER SEVEN**

 _Are you lost?  
Running circles around, always trying to fight the feeling  
Oh, but just falling down  
Is it the end of faraway sounds  
I've been howling, howling, never reaching distant ground_

 _Did you give up when they shot you down?  
Always trying to fight the feeling, but just falling,  
Is it the end or maybe the start,  
Of something you never thought could happen in a million stars_

 _Safe Dream – Tep No_

* * *

 **BEFORE**

She felt like she was going to be sick all over the Blake's floor as she paced back and forth, glancing apprehensively towards the door every few steps. Nora's mind raced as she tried to calm her nerves, but she hadn't been able to relax for nearly twenty four hours. She played with her hands as she paced, occasionally biting her nails or twisting her grandmother's ring as she tried to keep herself busy. Bellamy had left over an hour ago and she didn't understand what was taking him so long.

Neither of the Blake women were handling the wait any better than her. Aurora rearranged their small stock of rations in the cupboards while Octavia read a book but hadn't turned a page in over ten minutes. Just as Nora was sure they would all explode from impatience, they all looked to the door as three sharp knocks sounded and Bellamy let himself into the apartment.

No one spoke as all three women stared at him, each holding their breath. Nora saw the disappointed look in his eye and felt her heart drop. So, that was it then. Her shoulders fell as she looked to the ground, trying not to cry in front of everyone.

"Well, what happened?" Octavia nearly yelled, clamping a hand over her mouth to quiet herself, looking to the door in fear for a moment.

Bellamy let out a sigh and nervously looked at each of them, noting how tense they all were. Nora closed her eyes and braced herself for the terrible news, waiting for him to tell her what she already knew. She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up so soon, she should have known better. Hope for success but prepare for failure. She would have been less disappointed.

"We both passed."

Her eyes shot open in shock to see him beaming at her, laughing loudly at her expression. Aurora let out a cry of relief and smiled at him proudly, pulling him into a tight hug. Nora let out a weak laugh and pointed a finger at him as Octavia happily spun her around in a hug. She felt light headed and giddy with excitement, the dread of waiting to get the results of their Academy entry exams suddenly gone.

"You're terrible!" Nora exclaimed, returning the tight hug of his sister.

She couldn't believe that she had actually done it. The test had been a grueling six hours followed the next day by a full physical performance exam. They had studied for almost a month in preparation along with two hours of combat training every day. Out of the thirty candidates that would apply for the Academy, they would choose ten for a life in the Guard. Out of thirty candidates they had chosen _her._

"You should have seen your face," he said with a wide smile. He patted her on the shoulder and fell into one of the dining chairs with a small sigh. He laughed again and held out a hand to her, congratulating her. "Welcome to the Guard, Cadet Bishop."

"Congratulations, Cadet Blake," Nora replied, clapping her hand into his with a smile. She couldn't believe it and doubted she would until she saw the results herself, but was bursting with pride. Their hard work had paid off and finally they would be able to start making some kind of difference.

"I can't believe you guys are both gonna be in the Guard," Octavia said, taking a seat at the table as Aurora started putting together something in the kitchen. She pulled her legs up onto the chair, resting her chin on her knees with a thoughtful look. "I mean, you guys aren't exactly stand-up citizens."

"Hey!" Nora said, looking slightly offended.

"Says the illegal," Bellamy reminded with a small smile, but couldn't help but finding himself agree. "But maybe that's something we'll be able to change."

"I think you both will make great additions to the Guard and that they're lucky to have you," Aurora cut in as she set down a bowl of mashed soy beans and plate of tofu on the table. Taking a seat, she send a pointed look in her daughter's direction. "Maybe we should remember how hard _both_ of you worked to get such an amazing opportunity."

As she passed out plates and Bellamy stood up to get everyone a glass, Nora stood up and excused herself. "I should probably go tell my parents the news," she said, grabbing her bag off the floor and pulled on her boots. She stole Octavia's spoon and took a bite of her food, ruffling the girl's hair at her protest with a smile. Heading towards the door, she stopped as Bellamy stepped in front of her.

"We still on for later?" He questioned, voice lowering as he ignored the dramatic kissing faces his sister was making behind Nora's back.

"Sure thing, Officer," she replied with a smile, standing on the tips of her toes to land a chaste kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you at 2100."

She moved around him and opened the door, poking her head out to see if the corridor was clear. Seeing that it was, she turned to give the Blake's a quick wave and stuck her tongue out at Octavia before heading towards Alpha Station. She felt light as feather and had to keep herself from nearly skipping home, she was so excited to tell her parents the news. She couldn't believe that she had actually done it. For three months almost every second of her day had been spent studying for their exam and it had finally paid off.

She knew that she couldn't have done it without Bellamy. As they were preparing, he had been the one to keep them motivated. He was at her door every morning at 0500 to run laps around the Ark before forcing her to participate in four hour study sessions every evening. He quizzed her over breakfast, sparred with her to improve their hand-to-hand combat, and had even enlisted Octavia's help in ambushing her one afternoon to test her reflexes. Bellamy's reflexes were worse as he failed to avoid Nora's punch to the face in retaliation.

It didn't take long for her to reach her home and she burst in the door, barely waiting for the key card to register an authorization. She threw her bag into the corner, smile on her face as she hung up her coat and slipped off her boots.

"I got accepted!" She announced loudly, fighting to get off one of her boots and hobbled on one foot, finally kicking the boot off to go flying across the room.

She turned around and found her parents sitting at the dining table, her mother's hand in one of her father's as they both slowly looked up at her. She felt her stomach twist as she saw tear stains on both their faces, her mother's face ashen and pale. Time seemed to slow down as she realized something was terribly wrong.

"Nora, sweetie," her mother said, clearing her throat to strengthen her voice. Cole squeezed his wife's hand, doing his best to keep his face from showing how broken he felt inside. "Why don't you come sit with us, hm?"

"What's going on?" Nora asked, shaking her head and taking a step back, not liking the way that her parents were behaving. She felt a terrible feeling come over her as her dad blinked away a fresh wave of tears. "Did something happen?"

She knew that something had, she just couldn't determine _what._ Her parents had both been acting strangely over the last few weeks but she had selfishly assumed that it was in relation to her acceptance into the Academy. Her heart stopped as she worried for a moment if they had somehow found out about Octavia. Mind flashing, she tried to think if she had left her data-pad anywhere in the apartment but knew that she hadn't. Maybe they had followed her?

"I have cancer," her mother said quietly, turning her face in an effort to compose herself. Time seemed to slow dramatically. She took in a deep, shuttering breath and tried to put on a braver face. "Spinal cancer, to be more specific."

A tear fell down her mother's face as she tried to give her a reassuring smile but failed miserably. Nora stared at them both in shock, feeling like her world was suddenly falling apart at the seams. She saw her father start to speak but couldn't hear what he was saying as a loud ringing buzzed in her ears. 'Cancer' rattled around her head, bouncing against her skull painfully as she processed what the disease would mean for her mother.

Medical care wasn't like it was before the War, they didn't have unlimited supplies to provide for patients or the manpower to dedicate to someone with a terminal disease. She had watched a cursed few be diagnosed with cancer in the past, and couldn't imagine her mother looking lifeless and gray in her bed as she waited for the disease to take her. There wouldn't be much that Dr. Griffin would be able to do for her besides make her last days comfortable.

Nora took a step back, shaking her head before fumbling a hand behind her, reaching for her bag. Her vision blurred as her mind urged her to get away, to run somewhere safe. She ignored both of her parents calling after her as she fled the apartment, not even bothering to put on shoes before she was running through the corridors.

* * *

"I thought we had a date."

She paused at his voice, taking a moment to wipe the sweat off her brow before jabbing at the punching bag hanging from the ceiling above her. It shook from impact and swung away from her, bouncing on the chain and she landed another few hits. Her knuckles were becoming raw from the relentless workout over the last two hours. She had ended up in the Ark's gym, pouring all her emotions into the punches she threw at the bag.

Every impact into the worn exterior of the bag made the pain lessen, a fraction at a time. She couldn't get the image of her mother, her amazing, strong, fantastic mother, laying unresponsive in a med day bed, eyes glassed over and empty as she stared at the ceiling lifelessly. Hitting the bag, desperate to forget the image, she let out a frustrated cry as her form became sloppy and she hit the bag at an angle, sending a jolt of pain into her shoulder. She settled for kicking the bag away and stopped, chest heaving.

Bellamy walked around her, catching the beaten bag easily and held it out of reach, giving her a worried look. "Your dad said I would find you down here," he said, releasing the bag to hang lifelessly between them. He took a small step forward, stopping when she looked away, doing her best to bring her breathing back to a normal rhythm. "He told me about your mom," he said quietly, taking another step forward. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," she said with a sharp sniff, rubbing the back of her hand across her forehead, and shrugged. "You're not the Cancer Fairy."

"That's not what I meant," he said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at her. He closed the distance between them, reaching out a hand to rest on the side of her neck, brushing a thumb across her check. Her eyes fluttered shut as she leaned into his touch. "I'm sorry that you have to go through this," he said honestly, using his hold on her to pull her closer, bringing his arms around her to hold her tightly.

He kept his hold steady as she grew limp against him and started to cry. She buried her face in his chest, and he slowly lowered them both to the ground as her legs grew unsteady. He pulled her into his lap, tucking her head under his chin and slowly rocked her side to side, whispering comforting words into her hair. He had done much the same with Octavia when she was younger and suffered from night terrors and dreams that the Guard would take her away in the night.

Slowly he felt her relax in his arms and looked down to see her looking aimlessly towards the wall. Brushing a thumb across her cheek he caught her eyes before pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "We'll get through this, I promise. Everything is going to be alright."

Closing her eyes, she leaned heavily into him and let out a shuddering sigh, shaking her head. "Don't make promises you can't keep," she whispered.

* * *

 **AFTER**

Nora was positioned against the back wall of the large room, a space of twenty feet between her and another guard, as they stood post watching the festivities. Unity Day was upon them as the residents of the Ark gathered in the main lobby of Go-Sci, excited to celebrate among their friends and family. October 1st marked the day that the twelve stations joined together to create the Ark, pushed along by fear of destruction after the thirteenth station was blown out of the sky.

She was restricted to light duty until Dr. Griffin said otherwise, and as such was not with the others getting the Exodus drop ship prepared for their launch. She'd argued that she was more than able to help load supplies into the ship, but Abby didn't listen to a word and sent her to CC for orders. She'd found Major Bryne, who had argued her ability to perform _any_ duty in her current medical state, but had eventually sent her off to the main deck to guard the Unity Day festivities.

The morning started with a speech from the Chancellor followed by a presentation and pageant from the younger children of the Ark, telling the story of how the Ark was created. All through the day people would be roaming the corridors, moving through the different stations to partake in the different celebrations. There were skits being performed, traditional dishes made, and in the evening there was a dance for the older students.

Over the years the Unity Ball had provided many memories for Nora. Her first kiss at age thirteen, which had taken place hidden behind one of the support beams, hiding herself and Kyle Wick from the chaperones. Her first drink of spiked punch, provided by a group of Year Twelves, when she was sixteen. Her last dance that she attended as a participant had ended in a fight between two intoxicated students who were dragged to the Skybox to sleep it off.

The Unity Ball the year before had been the night that had ruined everything. It had started like any other Ball, the same mix of songs from the early 2000's playing from overhead speakers, air thick and warm from so many bodies dancing, and groups of kids sneaking off to get intoxicated in the lavatories. It had been her first year being a guard at the Ball and she had been caught in a wave of nostalgia, remembering when she was the one dancing rather than guarding.

Standing in almost the exact same place, she remembered watching as Bellamy fought to save his sister from Shumway and their fellow cadets. She had been frozen in place, watching in horror as Octavia was dragged away and Bellamy was forced to the ground, tremors running through his body from a guard's shock baton. The solar flare alarm's blare drowned out his anguished cry as he was arrested, able to do nothing as his sister was taken from him.

She was ashamed to remember how she had done nothing to stop them from being dragged away, Octavia to the Skybox to await execution and Bellamy to be stripped of his rank and dignity. She hadn't thought to warn Aurora, who would be surprised by the knock on her door that had led to her arrest and immediate execution. Guilt weighed heavily on her as she remembered watching Aurora being marched through the corridors, head held high as she ignored the stares of those who stopped to watch her final walk.

Nora had been forced into performing an inventory of the Ark's ration supplies at the time of Aurora Blake's execution. She had been banned from being a witness to her execution, by both her father and Major Bryne, who felt that distancing herself from the Blake's and their criminal activities would be best for her career.

As she stood post and watched the Chancellor give his customary Unity Day speech, her father standing proudly behind him, she couldn't help but feel bitter towards them both. The bitterness she felt towards them was nothing against her own self-loathing, but she knew that she wasn't the only one with Aurora Blake's blood on her hands.

"To our sons and daughters on Earth listening to this message, we will see you soon," Jaha's speech turned to include the remaining members of the 100 and Nora felt the bitterness turn to anger. The solar flare had knocked out the comms to the ground until the early morning, when engineering had been able to reconnect them in time to broadcast the Unity Day festivities. She had been denied a call to the ground because of the timing but told herself it didn't matter.

"The first Exodus ship will launch in under sixty hours, carrying you the reinforcements that you need, so stay strong. Help is on the way," Jaha said, giving the crowd a reassuring smile. People cheered and clapped, excitement in the air as he continued his speech.

Her heart beat faster as she realized that in sixty hours, she would be hurtling towards the Earth, forever leaving behind the Ark and her home. Gone would be the gray steel walls and endless blackness outside the small windows. No more recycled air, soy beans ration packs, or cold five minute showers. Soon she would be surrounded by landscapes she had only seen films, a place so distant and unimaginable it seemed almost like a fairy tale.

She had never thought that she would be so lucky as to be able to return to the ground. Hers was supposed to be a transitional generation, one that helped prepare her grandchild for their long awaited return to Earth. Instead, nearly a hundred years sooner than was expected, she and her fellow inhabitants of the Ark, were the lucky chosen few.

She scanned the crowd as Jaha ended his speech and introduced the children performing in the pageant. Nora didn't listen as the story began, having memorized it as a child when she was chosen as one of the flag holders. Her father had been disappointed that she hadn't been chosen as the lead, but she had felt proud to hold the Canadian flag and be a part of the pageant. Across the room, she saw Dr. Griffin conversing with Diana Sydney and frowned as the councilwoman excused herself and disappeared into the crowd.

Diana and her father and grown up together on Agro, both with a dream to change the Ark for the better and to create a better environment for the working class. Her father had been elected to the council during Diana Sydney's second term as Chancellor and her unyielding support of his candidacy had guaranteed his win. It hadn't been uncommon for Nora to come home from class to find Diana in their living room, pouring over a data-pad with her father, arguing over one council matter or another late into the night.

She had grown to respect the woman over the years, watching as Diana had gracefully accepted her defeat to Jaha and had put her efforts towards bettering stations individually. The safety regulations she had pushed for on Mecha had cut work-related injuries in half alone. Her father's alliance with Sydney had caused a rough relationship with Jaha, as he supported almost every issue she brought to the council and advocated on her behalf.

When Dr. Griffin had been caught in an illegal trades deal and stripped of her position on the council, Jaha had surprised most everyone by giving the open council seat to Sydney. It had given Nora hope when she had heard the news, thinking that maybe if Sydney and Jaha could join forces for the betterment of the Ark, then nothing would stop them from returning to the ground. Nothing else mattered to her except touching down and finding her friends.

Her eyes flicked around the room, coming into contact with her father's as he stared across the crowd at her, a sad look on his face. He had been waiting for her when she had awoken in Med Bay but had left shortly after and she hadn't seen him since. She knew that he was shaken by her attempted murder, but she didn't understand why he was avoiding her. She planned to stop by his quarters after the pageant and find out whether he planned to also be on the Exodus ship.

She knew that Kane would be going to oversee ground security and that nothing would stop Dr. Griffin from dropping to see her daughter, but she was unsure what her father planned to do. Knowing him, he would stay behind to ensure everyone would make it safely off before taking the last drop ship.

She gave him a small smile and a nod across the crowd, which he returned before looking away to watch the pageant begin. She hoped that he would take a spot on the first drop ship, if only so that she didn't continue to be pulled in two – part of her held anchored to the Ark and the comfort of her home and the other part to the ground, a place that held her hopes and dreams for a new beginning. Earth was a place where they would be able to start over, and they all deserved a clean slate.

"When all the stations were formed, they called themselves-"

The wall behind the podium exploded and Nora was thrown to the floor from the blast. Her ears rang as she coughed and looked around her, vision blurry. She heard screams and cries from those wounded nearby as the hole in the wall sparked from exposed wires. The stage was gone, pieces strewn across the room, a few people laying wounded from the shrapnel. Her heart sank as she looked to where her father had been standing moments before, finding the space empty.

* * *

 _And I know and I know I won't fall into the break of dawn  
If this is the start of our safe dream, why am I still here?  
Why am I still living?  
If this is the start of our safe dream then why am I feeling so empty?_


	8. EIGHT

**AN:** Welcome to all my new followers, you guys are amazing! Glad that you all seemed to enjoy the last chapter, hope CH8 holds up to expectations! Feel free to leave comments and reviews, thank you to all that have in the past. Without further ado, enjoy! RJL

* * *

 **CHAPTER EIGHT**

 _This is the sound of one voice_ _  
_ _One spirit, one voice, the sound of one who makes a choice  
_ _This is the sound of voices two  
_ _The sound of me singing with you, helping each other to make it through  
_ _This is the sound of voices three  
_ _Singing together in harmony, surrendering to the mystery  
_ _This is the sound of all of us  
_ _Singing with love and the will to trust, leave the rest behind it will turn to dust_

 _One Voice – The Wailin' Jennys_

* * *

 **BEFORE**

Nora stood in front of their front door, arms hanging lifelessly at her side. Her hair had come loose from its tight bun and her hip felt light without the weight of her badge and baton. She hung her head and rested it against the door for a moment, trying to gather herself before she went in. She wondered if her parents were asleep or if someone had already informed them about the arrest of Aurora Blake.

Finding an illegal second child was rare on the Ark, Nora couldn't remember the last one before Octavia. She knew that her father would be informed since his approval, along with the rest of the council's, would be required to approve Aurora's execution. There was little chance that the council would vote to spare her and in most cases the vote was approved within 24 hours. By the same time tomorrow evening, Aurora Blake would be dead.

A tremor shook through her body as Nora tried to steady herself and pushed away from the door, shaking her head. She needed a way to fix things and crying certainly wasn't the answer. She knew what needed to be done. Pulling out her ID, she swept it through the reader and let herself quietly into her family's quarters, wincing as the click of the door closing echoed through the small room.

Hearing only a resound silence behind her, she let out a sigh of relief and turned around. She stilled instantly when she saw her father sitting at the dining table, her data-pad laying in front of him. Her stomach dropped as she saw the files that he had been looking through and knew that hope was lost.

"How long have you known?" He asked, pushing the pad away from him with a furious glare. She fidgeted in front of the door, head tilting in shame towards the floor. "Answer me!"

"Three years," Nora replied quietly, refusing to meet her father's intense gaze.

She was overwhelmed with guilt as her cheeks flushed and she tried not to think of Aurora awaiting her death in a windowless cell. Octavia, locked away until her eighteenth birthday when she would almost surely join her mother in the afterlife. Bellamy, alone and abandoned, never able to deal with the loss of his family, would never forgive her or speak to her again. She had to do something, had to save them. She couldn't lose them.

"You stupid girl," her father muttered, shaking his head in sorrow as he let out a breath and leaned back in his chair. "Don't you understand what you've gotten yourself involved in? What you've involved _me_ in?"

"I figured it out," she admitted, slowly moving to take a seat at the table, feeling herself become more defeated with each passing moment. She eyed the data-pad and frowned, shaking her head. "Too nosey for my own good, I guess."

"Damn right," Cole replied, anger etched clearly on his wrinkled face. "You should have come to me the minute you found out. I could have dealt with this."

"What, by floating Ms. Blake three years ago instead of tomorrow?" Nora asked, looking at her father with hatred as her self-loathing was replaced with anger. "You aren't going to try and say that you're going to oppose her execution, are you?"

"Of course not," he replied truthfully, making Nora glare at him. "She broke the law, she knew what the punishment would be when she chose to have a second child. But if you had informed me, we could have dealt with this quietly – _internally_ ," he said with a pointed stare. "I personally recommended him for the Guard, don't you think they won't question my involvement now?"

"You're just worried that your approval rating will drop," Nora muttered, shaking her head as she looked away in anger. "You don't even care that two people are going to _die_ because one of them decided to give life to the other. I thought you wanted to help people, not let them be murdered because of archaic laws. You're supposed to be better!"

"Those 'archaic' laws you talk about are the only things keeping everyone alive," her father reminded her heatedly with a scoff. "What do you think would happen if people started having as many children as they wanted? Where would they live? How would we feed a thousand more mouths? How do we increase medical production in order to keep them all immunized and healthy? We can't, Nora, we've done the math. The Ark can't sustain that many people."

She knew that what her father said was true, she'd seen the documents herself, but it didn't help quell her anger with him. She knew that the math was sound, that the Ark couldn't realistically support over three thousand souls before the stress was too much on the oxygen regulators. She knew why families were only allowed one child, but it just wasn't _fair_. They didn't ask for this, to live their lives trapped in a metal cage orbiting their true home. Living on the Ark was a curse, one that their ancestors didn't know they were placing on their future children when they fled to the sky.

"I know that it isn't fair, but there can be no exceptions," her father said quietly, most of his anger dissipating as he saw the defeated hunch of his daughter's shoulders. "I know that you care for them, Peanut. But you can't do anything to fix this," he said gently. He picked up the data-pad and scrolled the file through once more before sliding it down the table to her. She looked at the file he'd been looking at and tried to keep herself from crying, knowing that he was right. "You need to delete it, Nora. They'll float you if you don't."

It had taken nearly a year to collect the file together, to piece together a plausible enough history that would prove that Octavia Blake was a legitimate child. Born Octavia Wood, her parents were Jackson and Stella Wood, both of whom were deceased. They were residents of Factory Station who fell ill during the Strep Epidemic of '35 and left their three year old daughter in the hands of family friend, Aurora Blake. A complete medical history, education transcripts, and other small details made up a real-enough life that someone would believe that Octavia was a legal Ark citizen.

Almost every person named in the file besides Octavia and Aurora were dead and anyone that wasn't was someone who wouldn't likely remember a small detail from sixteen years previous. Nora had searched the data-bases, forming a trail through all of them, making Octavia a part of each, trying to give life to a ghost. It wasn't complete yet and Nora had been hoping to have another couple years before imparting the file to Octavia on her eighteenth birthday. It was the only way to give her a chance at something more than living beneath the floor her whole life.

"I can't just let them die," Nora whispered, a tear falling to land on the data-pad's screen. She looked at her father desperately, pleading him for help. She couldn't give up. There had to be a way to save them. "I have to at least try!"

"Your plan may have stood a chance if Aurora Blake hadn't already confessed," Cole said quietly, pushing his chair back to stand up. He came around the table and put a hand on her shaking shoulder, brushing a comforting hand through her hair as she started to sob. "I got the memo ten minutes ago. I'm sorry, Peanut."

Her heart burst as she pictured Aurora's kind, loving face as it flew out of the air lock, a small look of surprise in her eyes as she was pulled away. She felt sick as she thought of Bellamy, broken and alone, and Octavia, finally free from her prison beneath the floor only to be locked in a cage. She would never enjoy Aurora's cooking again, never laugh with her, and never enjoy the comfort of her hug again. Bellamy would lose his family, lose the people most precious to him, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She was useless, worthless, and _pathetic_. It was her own mother all over again, able to do nothing as she watched the people she loved suffer and wither away. Slowly the world took everything from her and she did nothing to stop it, sitting idly by as she spoke of changing Ark for the better. What a joke, she couldn't help anyone, not even herself, who was she to think she could change anything. She was spineless, weak.

" _What made you want to join the Guard?"_

" _The Ark is my home, and I want to be able to protect it and help it flourish, even if that means protecting it from itself."_

Her hands clenched as her father continued to talk, telling her that everything would be all right. Justice would be served. This was for the greater good. Her sadness faded against the anger she could feel returning. She couldn't keep letting people die, couldn't let those she cared about be taken from her. The people needed to have their voices heard, needed to be protected, guided. Things had to change, the _Ark_ needed to change.

She pushed her father away and ignored him, heading for the small bathroom. She closed the door behind her and stripped off her uniform, tossing it in the corner. Taking a deep breath, she turned on the water and stepped into the cold water. It washed over her, taking away her sweat and tears and soothing her aching muscles. Closing her eyes, she rested against the shower's wall and started planning. Crying wouldn't solve anything and it definitely wouldn't save anyone.

* * *

 **AFTER**

"Dad!"

Nora yelled as she fumbled across the debris, pushing herself to search among the wreckage for her father. Around her people screamed, children cried out for their parents, and medical personnel worked to help the injured. She ignored them all as she pushed away pieces of the Ark, gasping when she found him crushed beneath a support beam. Her hands trembled as she pressed two fingers to his neck and held back a cry when she couldn't find a pulse. His eyes were closed, a small trickle of blood running down his forehead. She felt the world sway around her as she stood up and took a step back, shaking her head.

 _Not again_.

"Bishop!"

She turned at the voice, not having the strength to salute Councilman Kane as he hurried towards her. He nodded to her, glancing to where she had been staring moments before. His face fell at the sight of her father and he patted a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Inspector," he said quietly, hand tightening on her shoulder for a moment before releasing his hold. He motioned over two guard members, motioning to the body of Cole Bishop. "See that he's cared for," he ordered. The two cadets nodded and saluted before moving around Kane and Nora, starting to remove the debris around her father. "Come with me, Bishop," he ordered, moving swiftly to another part of the lobby where a group of Guard members was forming.

She glanced once more at her father, watching as the two cadets worked carefully to free his body from beneath the beam. She remembered him picking her up as a child, sending her flying through the air only to catch her before she hit the ground. It would make her mother furious, thinking that Cole would drop their toddler, but Nora had loved it. She felt like she was flying, weightless and free, and she never doubted that her father would safely catch her. She trusted him to keep her safe. He had never dropped her.

 _Take care of mom_ , she thought, sending a prayer for her father's safe travels. _May we meet again_. Taking a deep breath, she set her shoulders and followed after her commanding officer, pushing her emotions aside. The explosion was no accident, she was sure of it, and something bigger was going on. She needed to focus on the task at hand, needed to remember that the Exodus ship would be leaving in less than sixty hours. Bellamy. Octavia. They were all that she had left now and they were all that mattered.

Major Bryne gave her a brief once over before clapping her on the back, surprising Nora. "You all right, Bishop?"

Letting out a small cough and winced as a shock ran through her sore chest and shoulder, she nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

She didn't feel 'all right' at all but knew that now was no time to become distracted. The explosion was most likely the beginning of a mutiny, a distraction to keep the Guard busy while whoever was responsible was able to move on with their coupe. She had no idea who was responsible, but she wasn't surprised that there was unrest among the Ark citizens. Their attack on the Unity Day festivities had killed the entire council save for Kane and Jaha, leaving the government vulnerable to a hostile take-over.

"Good," Bryne said with a nod, turning to face Kane as he began to divvy up assignments between the members. "I'm going to need you in top form, you understand?"

"I understand," Nora replied without hesitation, knowing that all hands would be needed on deck in the coming days. She felt herself becoming paranoid as she looked around her, wondering if any of them were involved in the explosion.

"Someone find Diana Sydney," Kane ordered, eyes searching through the remaining members to land on Major Bryne. She stood to attention and nodded, saluting to him before wordlessly before taking her leave. Nora didn't wait to follow her, falling into step with the taller blond as they exited the lobby, leaving behind the cries of the wounded.

The memory of Sydney excusing herself from the pageant only moments before the explosion didn't sit well with Nora. She never would have thought that Diana would capable of such a terrorist act, but in the past weeks she had been constantly surprised by the actions of people she thought she knew. She was tired of being left in the dark. She wanted answers.

"Mind if I join you, Major?"

"Not at all, Inspector. Let us find some answers, yes?"

* * *

"I'm sure everything's fine," Clarke said, surprising him as she came up behind him. He ignored her and smacked the monitor once more, twisting the antennas on top while looking at the sky, trying to determine where the Ark was flying overhead. Clarke let out a small laugh and pushed him away from the communications set up they had put together. "Monty is going to hurt you if you mess up our only radio. It's probably just a bad connection right now," she assured.

Bellamy let out a huff and took a step back from the monitor, glaring at it. "What if something happened up there?" he questioned, turning his angry glare to the sky.

"You're really worried for her, aren't you?" she asked, sounding almost surprised by his obvious concern.

She knew that he wasn't the monster he had tried to convince everyone he was but she was still growing used to the idea. She had seen him with Dax and grown to respect him after he saved her life. He had told her of his mother and how disappointed he thought she would be in him and Clarke didn't find herself agreeing. While he was callous and brutal on the outside and in front of the camp, she had seen him receive the news of Nora's shooting and knew he cared more than he let on.

"Whatever happens to her up there," he said quietly, refusing to meet her curious gaze. "It's on me. I left her up there, alone. I didn't even say goodbye."

"Nora has never struck me as weak," Clarke said, nudging his shoulder with a small smile, making him look at her in surprise. "I wouldn't worry so much about her. She can take care of herself, she's a big girl. Trust me, she's pretty much indestructible and I say that in a medical sense."

"She always _was_ getting sent to Med Bay," he mumbled with a chuckle, finally meeting her eyes to nod his silent thanks.

"The Exodus ship will be here in three days," she reminded, also turning to look to the sky as she thought of the ship's passengers. Soon she would see her mother and that was a reunion she wished would be further away, she wasn't ready to face her. Shaking her head, she pushed thoughts of her mother away. "Soon you won't even have a reason to worry."

He returned the nod with a smile before turning to see Jasper busting through camp, holding up a container of moonshine. They watched as a crowd formed around him and he proudly started filling cups, taking gratuitous swigs from the container between fills. Bellamy shook his head and headed towards his tent, leaving Clarke with babysitting duty for the morning. He pushed back the flap to his tent and fell on to his make-shift bed, kicking off his boots in the process.

Outside he could hear the campers enjoying Monty and Jasper's brew, all joining in to celebrate Unity Day. He stared at the ceiling of his tent, remembering Unity Day the year before. Octavia had disappeared early in the morning, sneaking off to who knew where, and he wished that she hadn't abandoned him on the anniversary of her arrest. He knew that she needed space, probably just as overcome by memories of what happened the same as he was, but he wished she would turn to him for comfort like she did as a child.

So much had changed since then, he almost didn't recognize his sister in the young woman she was becoming. When he had discovered Atom's feelings for _his_ little sister, he had been overcome with rage and the need to protect her from the heartbreak Atom was sure to inflict on her. He knew all too well how easy it was to hurt those you love and he never wanted Octavia to suffer the way that same fate as Nora, a fate he had subjected on her. Sure enough, when Atom had died, Octavia had been made to suffer anyway.

It tore him up inside, watching her mourn his death as she once more lost someone precious to her. All that his sister knew was loss, the feeling of someone being ripped away. He related too much to that feeling as Nora's face flashed through his mind. It was worse that she hadn't been taken away, that he had willingly left her behind. She was the only thing left in his life besides his sister that he cared for and he had abandoned her without a single thought.

Rolling onto his side, he closed his eyes and remembered what it was like to lay beside her, the way that her body had easily molded to fit against his. He shivered, remembering the feel of her hands running lightly over his skin and groaned in frustration, punching the bed as he rolled over. Three more days and she would be back in his arms, right where she belonged, and he would be able to rest easy once more. Three more days. He swore he wouldn't leave her again.

* * *

 _This is the sound of one voice_  
 _One people, one voice, a song for every one of us_


	9. NINE

**AN:** Glad to see happy readers! Please keep in mind that the timeline is a bit wibbly-wobbly due to the AUish nature of the fic. It's entirely due to my laziness to rewatch the episodes eighteen times to write the scene perfectly, and IMO I find that a bit exhausting as a reader. I hope that you all understand and enjoy my little play on things. Those of you who have reviewed, you're incredible human beings - you make my day! Thank you also to those following and have favorited - I'm honored! Please, enjoy! - RJL

* * *

 **CHAPTER NINE**

 _Feeling like a million years  
Rolling up have passed me by  
I used to be green and careless  
Now I'm seldom taken by surprise_

 _Hey there, mama, you see me now?  
Well, look how your boy's grown up  
I used to be afraid of falling, now I couldn't give a fuck  
But this is no funeral horn  
What this is, is a return to form_

 _Return to Form – Ciaran Lavery_

* * *

 **BEFORE**

She carried the storage container into the bathroom, swiping a hand to push in her toiletries off the counter. The items clattered against one another and were soon covered with a small towel she pulled off the bar on the wall. Clicking the light off behind her, she moved into the living room and started gathering more of her belongings. She didn't bother with most of her possessions, knowing that little would fit in the small personal footlocker she was allowed in the barracks.

Both of her uniforms were neatly packed into another crate along with her spare pair of boots. She took few civilian outfits but hesitated over a blue dress tucked into the back of her closet. Gently rubbing the fabric together between her fingers, she stared at it for a moment before pulling it off its hanger and folded it carefully. Tucking it underneath her uniforms, she looked around the room, wondering what else to take with her.

As she looked at the half-empty containers, she realized how little she owned and how even less she cared enough to take. Most of the pictures from the wall had been moved to Med Bay where they sat with her mother's bed side table. There were only two photos left on the wall, a class photo from her third year and a picture of her father's parents. She didn't see the point in having an old picture of herself and didn't want to take the other from her father.

Wishing that she had something to bring with her to make the barracks feel more like home, she knelt down beside her bunk and reached out an arm. Feeling around, her fingers brushed what she was looking for and she pulled out an old ammunitions box. Dusting it off, she smiled at the exterior paint job - bright yellow and green sunflowers, and pushed open the lid.

For her thirteenth birthday, Bellamy and Nora had spent a month putting together an extensive art supply for Octavia. They had bartered for all sorts of different mediums, from pencils and charcoal to watercolors and even a few oils. Bellamy had even managed to find an old briefcase that they refashioned as a carrier for all her supplies.

As repayment for her amazing gift, Octavia had created them all works of art. Bellamy received an oil painting of a knight in shining armor, poised to slay a fire-breathing dragon. Aurora's painting was of an elvish princess, elegant and beautiful in an elaborate gown as she overlooked a great battle being fought beneath her tower's window. For Nora's piece, Octavia had chosen to use charcoal and watercolors, painting her as a warrior princess with dark face paint and a large sword in hand.

Bellamy had complained that she looked more fearsome in her painting than he did in his, but she hadn't listened as she gushed over the amazing painting that Octavia had presented her. She didn't see herself as a fearless warrior but was humbled that her friend thought so highly of her, secretly wishing she could be more like the warrior portrayed. Afraid she would ruin the painting or worse that her parents would discover the identity of the artist, Nora had hidden away the painting beneath her bed for safe keeping.

Keeping secrets was no longer an issue and Nora unrolled the painting with a sad look. Tracing a finger over the harsh lines of charcoal, she remembered how excited Octavia had been to present her gifts, nervous to see her family's reactions. They had all been thoroughly impressed and each treasured their personal painting.

A knock at the door brought Nora to the present and she frowned, rolling the painting back up as she stood up. Stepping around the storage containers, she unlocked the door and was confused to see Diana Sydney on the other side.

"Good morning, Nora," Diana said as she showed her perfect teeth with a smile. "Sorry to bother you this early but you know how it is, work never stops. Is your father home, by chance?"

"I'm sorry but no," Nora said, opening up the door to let the older woman in and out of the busy corridor. She motioned her in and pushed aside one of the storage crates with her foot. "He left early this morning, I think he went to see Mom before he reported in," she guessed.

"Are you moving?" Diana questioned, closing the door behind her as she took in the apartment's disarray. A number of crates littered the floor, the small closet was open with clothes spilling out, and both the bunks were stripped of their sheets. The kitchen didn't look much better, with plates stacked up to the edge of the sink and creeping onto the counter. She had seen the Bishop's quarters in better conditions.

"I report to the barracks at 1100," Nora replied, continuing to move through the apartment, tossing possessions into one of the open crates without much thought. Remembering her face wash in the shower stall, she went into the bathroom to grab it, giving Diana a questioning look as she reentered the room. "Didn't Dad tell you?"

"Must have slipped his mind," Diana said quietly, moving to help Nora fold up her worn blanket. She took it out of the younger woman's arms, patting it down in one of the crates to protect the more breakable objects. "Is this because of what happened with Bellamy's mother?"

Nora paused in her packing but didn't immediately reply. It had been a week since Aurora's execution and the Ark was still buzzing from the excitement. She hadn't spoken to her father much in the way besides polite pleasantries and had yet to visit her mother, still too angry and ashamed to face either of them. When Bryne mentioned an opening in the barracks she had jumped at the chance, more than happy to have her own space for the first time in her life, and quickly started packing.

Shrugging her shoulders, Nora put the lid on a full crate, clicking it securely shut and faced a thoughtful Diana.

"I just think it's a good time to get some space," she said, bending down to pick up another crate to stack on the other. She put the lid on it as well and looked around the room, realizing that her packing was nearly complete.

"Space is good," Diana agreed slowly, tilting her head thoughtfully. "But don't distance yourself too much from the people who care about you. I'm sure your parents-"

"Dad's been pretty clear on how he feels," Nora cut in, tone turning bitter for a moment before she looked at Diana apologetically. Letting out a sigh, she drummed her fingers on the crate's lid. She didn't mean to take out her anger on Diana, she knew that woman meant well.

"This is for the best," she said in determination, nodding her head slightly. "The housing department has wanted us to move since Mom got admitted, anyway. Dad and I don't need all this space."

Her father would also soon be moving, to a smaller apartment in another residential quarter of Alpha. With him being the sole occupant of their current apartment, he was breaking the residential code concerning excessive space. The Jackson's would be moving in at the end of the week, occupying their space and making it their own. Cole had yet to start packing though there would little left in the apartment once Nora left, his wife's possessions already missing.

"If that's how you really feel, then I won't try to change your mind," Diana said with a small smile, patting one of the crates as she looked around the apartment. "Lot of memories in here, though. I can't believe how grown up you are."

"The Ark makes everyone grow up," Nora said, moving to the door to pull on her boots. She shrugged off the look Diana gave her and put on her jacket, latching the shoulder clasps. Looking down at her wrist, she cursed at the time her comm band read.

"I should really be going," she said, using a small hand cart to pick up her storage containers. She wheeled them to the door and heard Diana move to follow her out. Stopping to let her out, she took a moment to look back at the small apartment.

It was the only home that she had ever known, besides the feeling of refuge she had found with the Blakes. She had been three when her family had moved from Argo to Alpha station and she didn't remember their home there. All she had ever known were the gray walls of apartment A-78, the bed was the same that she had slept in for almost two decades. All her childhood memories took place there, her family had been the happiest within its walls.

But all that was over, moments left in the past. Her mother no longer slept in her own bed, her father almost never finding his way home in the evenings to sleep in his suddenly oversized bed. Nora, sharing her time between the Blake's and her home, only spent half her nights in her own. Even that had changed, since she could no longer spend time at the Blake's. Moving into the barracks had been the only solution she could see that wouldn't leave her with an overwhelming sense of loneliness.

"This is for the best," she repeated, more to herself than to Diana who stood beside her. With a final look, she closed the door to her former home, hearing it click shut behind her. Turning to Diana, she held out a hand to her. "Thanks for the advice, Di. You always know when I need it."

Ignoring her outstretched hand, Diana smiled at her and pulled her into a tight hug. Surprised, Nora stood frozen before returning the hug and gave her a small smile as they pulled apart. With a small pat on her arm, the blond moved around her and started to move down the corridor, hooking her arm through Nora's.

"I'll walk you to Go-Sci," Diana said as Nora fumbled to pull her hand cart behind her, almost tipping it before getting a proper hold. She fell into step with the older woman after a few paces.

"Didn't you need to talk to my dad?" Nora questioned, waving an apology as her cart ran over someone's foot in the busy corridor.

"Oh, don't you worry about that, sweetheart," Diana said with a bright smile, waving a careless hand in the air. She set it down to pat Nora on the arm reassuringly. "It's just work stuff."

* * *

 **AFTER**

Nora and Major Bryne spent most of the morning searching the Ark for Councilor Sydney, but by early afternoon they were running out of leads. It seemed that the Ark had finally been broken in two as a result of the explosion and Nora was surprised by the number of people who were support of those responsible. Whether or not Diana was truly responsible had yet to be determined but her supporters still weren't talking. As soon as their uniforms were spotted, countless groups of people had turned back down corridors to avoid them, running when they attempted to speak with them.

By the afternoon they had only a few scattered reports of Sydney's whereabouts and even less to support her involvement in the bombing. Feeling defeated and at a standstill in their investigation, Bryne ordered them back to CC to check in with Kane and rest of the guard. As they made their way through the corridor, trying to ignore the people intentionally avoiding their gaze, Nora wondered who was truly in control of the Ark.

She knew that there was unrest among the Guilds, the political factions that helped decide what was brought before the Council and the ones that controlled the Unions from the individual stations. The Guilds provided station representatives that brought issues to the council or lobbied for station individuals, helping to make every voice heard.

In recent months, since Jake Griffin had been abruptly arrested for treason and executed, unrest had been felt in nearly every station. Jake had been a loud voice in support of the working class and his mysterious arrest left many with questions. The reason behind his execution had never made clear and many of the stations had seen it as deception from the council. Add that to the council's decision to send the 100 to the surface and it was a fine recipe for disaster.

The people no longer trusted their government, couldn't trust what the council told them when so many things didn't make sense. Nora couldn't blame them for their distrust, she felt the same towards her father and the rest of the council. She knew that they were doing what they thought was best for the Ark and the inhabitants, but she didn't agree with their methods. The people deserved to know what was going on, to have a voice in deciding how to proceed, and the council believed that the less the public knew, the better.

It was the blind leading the blind.

"Any leads?" Kane asked them when they reported in at CC.

The Command Center was filled to capacity as people searched for any answer to the morning's bombing. The front monitors were showing the diagnostics of the Ark, an unsettling amount of critical figures and red warnings flashing on screen. It seemed that power was fluctuating all over the Ark, sending some stations near critical low temperatures. Techs hurried around, yelling stat readouts as Sinclair tried to make sense of what all the data meant.

"None, sir," Bryne informed regretfully. She turned to face the monitors, frowning as she took in the information. "Anything on your end, sir?"

"Very little," Kane admitted, coming to stand at ease with his hands clasped behind his back. "It seems that the lock-down isn't one-sided. Information is costly, at the very least."

"So what do we know?"

"Sir!"

Kane turned as one of the officers on deck called for him, raising an eye brow as Diana Sydney came walking into CC. She looked concerned and held a data-pad in hand, holding it out for him to take. He kept his eyes on her as he took it, nodding two guards to flank both her sides. Diana gave him a hurt look and motioned him to look at the data-pad he held.

"My people identified the bomber," she explained, taking a step away from the two guards, moving closer to Kane. Her face was sad as she pointed to his picture in the file. "Cuyler Ridley, he lost his wife in The Culling."

Nora caught a glimpse of his face and felt sorry for him, knowing the anger that he felt. He was only one of many who had lost someone to The Culling, watched as they filled peacefully into Section-17 to take their final breaths. Three hundred and twenty souls had been taken, leaving behind countless loved ones and friends to mourn the empty spaces all around them. He wasn't the only one who had lost someone, but he was the only one that had taken something back.

 _My people_.

Nora watched as Diana continued to inform Kane and Bryne of her information, face conveying concern and an urgency to deal with the terrorist. Kane didn't sense anything amiss, or at least wasn't letting Diana see that he was on to her, and Bryne was already planning what to do with the intel. She didn't look guilty, didn't look like she was planning to betray them. But something in the way that she had said _'My people'_ made Nora question her trust in Diana Sydney.

Her parents were dead, her friends were on a different planet. Everything she owned was in a small footlocker shoved underneath her bunk in the barracks. She owned only two outfits beside the one she wore. Six days ago someone had shot her with the intent of killing her. All around her were the people she had grown up seeing every day, greeting them with a smile as she passed them in the corridors. People she had known all her life and as she looked around, she didn't know who to trust.

Nora was more alone than she had ever been in her life and she wondered if she was anyone's 'people'.

* * *

"Asshole," Clarke muttered to herself, catching herself from falling as a drunk camper stumbled into her and wandered away laughing.

Brushing off her pants, she continued on her march through the camp, searching the crowd for Bellamy. It was well into the evening and the Unity Day festivities were in full celebration, drunken campers spread out through the drop site. She had been in the middle of her own celebration when Finn had found her, once more wrangling her into a situation she would have rather avoided.

 _Trust him to ruin something else_ , she thought to herself, instantly regretting her anger towards Finn. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about the way he infuriated her by simply existing. She didn't understand why she cared so much, it wasn't rational. It had been one night, one terrible, wonderful, lapse in judgement and nothing else. He had a girlfriend. He had lied to her. He thought he'd never see her again.

"What's that look for, Princess?"

Clarke stopped suddenly, surprised to find him standing in front of her in the path, giving her an amused smirk. She frowned at him and moved closer, pulling him off the main path and into a group of tents. Most of the campers had been drinking since early afternoon and were too inebriated to eavesdrop on their conversation but she was still cautious before giving him a serious look.

"Finn set up a meeting with the Grounders," she explained quickly, nodding when he gave her a shocked look. "I know, I don't know what he was thinking."

"You aren't seriously going to go, are you?" Bellamy asked, shifting his weight as he started thinking the potential threat.

It would easy to ambush a small group, especially if the meeting was in unknown terrain. He wondered who was sponsoring the meeting, who had access to both groups to barter peace between them. His sister quickly came to mind, her involvement in the grounder's escape was definitely suspicious. He hadn't seen her in camp since the early morning and he wondered if she remembered it was her birthday, and then had kicked himself. Of course she knew, it was the same day as Unity Day every year. He had left a gift in her tent, but he doubted she had been back to find it.

"I think we need to give this truce a chance," Clarke argued, a determined look starting to set in her face. She met his gaze and nodded, making him shake his head with a small scoff. "But that doesn't mean that I trust them. I want you to follow us, as back-up."

"Now that's some smarter thinking, Princess," he said, nodding his head in agreement, clapping his hands together. He already started thinking of who to bring with them, Jasper instantly coming to mind. He had proven himself useful in the search for Octavia and Bellamy had a respect for him facing the grounders after his near-death experience at their hands. He would be a fine gunner to bring along.

"I'm going to go meet Finn at the front gate," Clarke continued, shoving her hands in her jacket pocket as a cold wind swept through the camp. "Wait ten minutes and then follow us, got it?"

"Roger, roger," Bellamy confirmed, looking over the tents in search for Jasper. He saw his goggles flashing against the firelight a few tents away.

"And Bellamy? Bring guns," Clarke ordered, giving him a final nod before disappearing into the camp.

"Whatever you say, Princess," Bellamy said with a smirk, kicking up a burst of dirt with his boot before heading towards Jasper's tent. They would need ammunition before leaving, along with a couple of ration packs just in case. He had taken a few drinks of the Unity Juice and felt a headache brewing in the back of his head. Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts aside as he thought of the long night ahead.

* * *

 _Everyone's accelerating  
At a speed and I can't keep up  
All of these things they're selling  
I've no idea or need for a single one_


End file.
